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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Gender Attachment  (Read 506 times)
Turkish
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12182


Dad to my wolf pack


« on: January 30, 2016, 03:13:33 AM »

D3 told me tonight that she misses Mommy. I validated her as usual, and said that she'd see mommy tomorrow (when Mommy violates my custody time by showing up to dance class when she could have easily packed D3's ballet shoes and given me the address--my poor boundaries). .

S6 (as of last week) said, "I just want to stay with Daddy forever, and not go back to Mommy's. Me and Daddy here, no Grandma (my BPD mom), just me and Daddy." Not sure what to make of this though I recognized kid triangulation.

I put them to bed and D3 clung to me, wanting me to lay down with her until she fell asleep. Their mom does this at their home. I'm trying to sever the co-sleeping, though if D3 (usually) wanders into my room at 3am, I don't take her back. S6 only comes in if he has a nightmare, usually, or gets up to pee. It's rare for him.

I'm wondering how much I should make of this, if anything.
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    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married, together 11 years. Not living together since June 2017, but still in a relationship.
Posts: 1235



« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2016, 04:56:47 AM »

Turkish in terms of your kids age and development, the recent introduction of grandma  into their lives, this all sounds really normal. 
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