Acquaintance with traits

[disorderedsociety]

I have a long time acquaintance of sorts who I communicate with from time to time, less frequently this last year, who scores somewhat highly on several personality disorder traits according to a test they took 

There was a notable pattern emerging: they'd end up texting when they were feeling crappy.

We'll call them J

J: Hey how's it going?

DS: Pretty good, just watching a movie. You?

J: Just playing cards against humanity. But I'm feeling like I'm being obnoxious, so I figured I should stop talking and just look at my phone for awhile. :/

DS: Enjoy your game

J: Noo, talk to me!

DS: I just think it's kind of weird to be someone you talk to when you feel negatively about yourself

J: :0

J: I'm sorry... .

DS: Do you see how that might make someone feel? "Break in case of emergency."

J: My bad

J: I apologize

... .

Maybe I'm being petty? Doubt it though! Is this what drawing a boundary is? I'm trying to weed out people who see me as a resource!

[Turkish]

That's a pretty clear boundary that you drew. You certainly have the right to be left alone, but can you see your response at this point delves into triangulation;

DS: I just think it's kind of weird to be someone you talk to when you feel negatively about yourself

Persecutor/Punitive Parent.

J: :0

J: I'm sorry... .

Victim/child.

DS: Do you see how that might make someone feel? "Break in case of emergency."

Switch to Recuer/Parent.

J: My bad

J: I apologize

Victim/Child. What do you think? 

[disorderedsociety]

That's a pretty clear boundary that you drew. You certainly have the right to be left alone, but can you see your response at this point delves into triangulation;

DS: I just think it's kind of weird to be someone you talk to when you feel negatively about yourself

Persecutor/Punitive Parent.

J: :0

J: I'm sorry... .

Victim/child.

DS: Do you see how that might make someone feel? "Break in case of emergency."

Switch to Recuer/Parent.

J: My bad

J: I apologize

Victim/Child. What do you think? 

I knew there was something wrong with it. Thanks for highlighting the roles.

I'm not sure what a proper response would have been otherwise. It seems like these roles only get played out with certain people though. Most people I have casual conversation with just provide pretty ordinary interactions. Is it typical that it's replicated with some people and not with others? I thought I'd come so far! 

[Turkish]

Seems like you may have been triggered. I get it. I have a low tolerance these days. Nothing wrong with being kind, and there's nothing wrong with respecting your own time and emotions.

After the "Noo, talk to me!"

Either no answer/NC (likely to trigger a response due to abandonment). Or, a release with grace, and BIFF (brief, informative, friendly, firm):

"Gotta go, have a nice night, and enjoy your game." Toss the ball into her court. If you're not that close to her, no need for validation. Then no response.