Valentine's Day challenge

[kc sunshine]

I've been trying to use the meditation technique of noticing/noting my thoughts about my BPD ex and then letting them go like balloons in the sky. I'm going to try to do that extra hard today, letting them go in heart shaped balloons!

[thisworld]

Kc Sunshine, you've made my day! 

[SSinNYC]

Two years ago on Valentines he bought me flowers, cooked me dinner and surprised me with a weekend getaway. At night while I was lying in his arms he asked me to be his girlfriend in the cutest way possible which I loved so much. It was one of the most romantic and emotional nights I have had with him and it just makes me sad thinking of it and makes me miss his good.

I miss his little cute nose

I miss the veins in his arm

I miss his hair and the grey in it

I miss his yummy lips

I miss his voice

I miss him singing for me because he knew how much I liked it

I miss his little corky habits

I miss when he said “sweepy” and “to-get-her” because he knew how much I liked it

I miss falling asleep in his arms

I miss being his big spoon

I miss waking up next to him

I miss kissing him before I go to work

I miss his little kisses on my forehead

I miss scrubbing his back in the shower

I miss him cooking for me and being so anal about it

I miss sitting next to him when we ate either at home or outside

I miss him holding my hand

I miss how he held his hand and how he held objects in his hand

I miss all the sweet and thoughtful things he did for me

As physically and verbally abusive as my ex was, how much he hurt me and tore me apart which caused me so much damage I know I shouldn’t miss anything about him but I don’t know why I feel this way today.