Not sure whether partner has BPD. Having masses of problems with relationship

[MN1967]

Hi. Just a quick introduction... .

I'm a 49 year old man who has had 2 former relationships and has 3 beautiful children.

I left my last partner 2 and a half years ago due to her not getting on with my daughter. I went pretty much straight into this new relationship. In between time was made redundant from my job of 22 years. Haven't been able to secure a "settled" job since. I feel the impact of this new relationship is making me somewhat "fuzzy" and completely dopey & lacking in focus.my new partner exhibits some behaviours that sometimes leave me breathless & dumbfounded. It's a total rollercoaster ride. She recently disclosed that she was sexually & physically abused as a child to me for the first time ever.

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[sweetheart]

Hello MN1967 and a very warm welcome to bpdfamily   

Being made redundant after 22years must have been very hard to adjust to emotionally and harder still that you are still not settled in a job again.

It also sounds like there are things going on in the relationship that might be overwhelming you. Maybe the relationship is requiring a lot of your emotional energy because you are trying to make sense of what is happening. Hopefully we can support you here to regain some perspective.

The recent disclosure of your SO's history of sexual and physical abuse must be really upsetting for you. And for her it may feel like being on an emotional roller coaster.

Can you tell us some more about those fuzzy feelings, the lack of focus, what's happening with your SO to cause this to happen?

How old are your children, are they still with living with you?

Come back and post some more when you have time.