I am loosing my mind...

[Heartbroken_guy]

hi all

its been 3 months since my break up wit my BPD ex GF. she made contact after two months just to screw with my head. i blocked her from all the social media and phones, i am really depressed and i hired a new therapist. she is really hard on me and she says that i have trades of BPD myself, the other side of the coin. apparently i am the giver and she the abuser. this is to much for me to handle and i am not sure where i stand. Today is my birthday and just like the last one i am alone again, she also dumped me last year around this time and many more before and after that. i have blocked all my family from contacting me and haven't spoken with them in a while. my friends are trying to reach  me today and have bought gifts and cake but i am pushing them away. my therapist says that it is normal that i feel that way towards my family but its tearing me into pieces, also i love my friends and i dont like pushing them away but since this last fight i had with my BPD ex the scabs are still falling. i miss her so much and i cant wrap my head around of why some one would hurt me so much intentionally every time i came close to her. I am confused about my trades of BPD i know that i am so damn depressed and i hate my thoughts most of the time. i have been locking myself for a week indoors and every time i go out i cry and run right back. does this has happened to anyone in here and does it go away? i am currently taking antidepressants and its only been a week. they seem to help a little but still not even close to getting back to work at least.

any thought would help...

[Ms.Perfect]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GUY!  

Wish you all the best thing that life can give!

Your post was very difficult to read without stopping emotions to raise.

It is very sencitive to read about your feelings. I can not give you any advice , but warm hugs 

[Scopikaz]

Mine has also been three months and i too am

Still depressed but In some ways doing better. Hang in there. It'll be ok

She's not worth it. 

[steelwork]

Oh golly. Happy birthday.

These breakups have a way of ripping us open. It sounds like so much turmoil for you.

What are the BPD traits you're confused about? Do you feel like you know what your therapist means but you don't know how it applies to you? Or do you have confusion about what he/she means? It's good to know where you stand so you can get the appropriate treatment.

I hope you'll let your friends bring you some cake. It sounds like they really love you.

[Turkish]

Hi H_g,

Happy Birthday  hug-

I can relate to the withdrawing, but what do you think drives your desire to drive away family and friends?

T.

[JerryRG]

If this helps? I've read a lot about how we nons can take on a lot of their mental and emotional states ourselves just from the abuse and gaslighting. I still cannot believe how difficult this is to deal with. I look at our relationship now after 3 months NC and can begin to see light.

I describe it as coming too after an f5 tornado has devistated our whole community/lives where everything is destroyed or we look around and cannot even recognise our surroundings. Fear and confusion take over and we search for anything that will bring us back to our old reality. I then wonder if I'm ok but dread even looking at myself out of fear I'm not sure what I'll find. Just horrible.

Happy birthday and things will get better, we are not alone and the rescue has begun.

[Ms.Perfect]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNKTWyU_0c4

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