help me

[helpmesym]

I am currently in a relationship for the the past 8 year with a person dignosed originally with a mood disorder. He was refered to intense therapy. Refused the therapy. And insisted i get therapy.  Saying there nothing wrong with him it was me. I did. His behavior is erratic and unpredictable. He goes into these blind rages on the beliefs that i am going to leave him and i am stepping out of the relationship. To he just wants to be a happy family and these are his golden years. It is a rollercoaster. One day he is the man i fell in love with the next he is like a national terrist in our house. He has put cameras to record me in the house not to my knowledge. He has created socail media sites in my name. Then accused me of creating and using them. He has put cameras in my office at work. He constantly searches porn on the web looking for images he believes of me. Then shows them to me like i am suppose to break down and have these heart felt confessionabout things that are no true. He constantly accuses me of all types of hannis acts. He tells me i dont love him. We are not his family and in the next sec tell me he wants to be my everything. The most disturbing  thing is on his evidence that he collects. Camera internet, background checks, etc. He sees and hear things that no one else sees. How do i help this person. I love and care for him dearly. It hurts me so much to see him in so much pain. We have a 7 year old daughter. He constantly tells me how he will just end himself and leave me to take care of the children.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[sweetheart]

Hello helpmesym and welcome to bpdfamily 

That's sounds like a really tough situation to be dealing with, especially as you have a young daughter to protect from this as well.  

Your h does not sound very well at all, are there any professionals involved in his care or treatment at the moment?  If there are not, it will be important if things are to improve for your family that he gets professional help. How long ago was he diagnosed with the mood disorder?

I can hear that his levels of paranoia and hyper-vigilance are making it virtually impossible to live your life at home and at work. My dBPDh exhibited these types of behaviours when he was at his most unwell. It must very upsetting and exhausting. How long has this level of paranoid behaviour been going on for?

You mention that he goes in to blind rages, are you ever concerned for your safety when this happens, or have you been in the past?

Who is in your life that you can count on for support, does anyone, family or friends know how difficult things are?

Come back and let us know how things are going, we can offer you advice and support for as long as you need it.

[Chilibean13]

This sounds like a very scary situation for you. it must be so difficult always wondering what the next horrible accusation will be. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. And how frustrating that he will not get into therapy for himself.

I hope that you can find support here. I would highly suggest that you start by reading the lessons on the right side of the page. If you feel that you are in danger pleas begin by clicking on the safety first link and setting up a plan for you and your children to be safe.