On a trip and still thinking about her

[Scopikaz]

So I'm in Miami this week for work. But still find myself thinking of her.

We didn't go to the concert last weekend because she pulled the plug the last minute after running into her the night before and how that turned out.

We had been playing trivia game and she now quit playing that as well.

So really I am effectively now out of her life. Except we are still friends on Facebook though not following eachother. I find myself still looking at her page frequently.

It's funny. She used to say I was on Facebook too much. And that I posted too many selfies.  Now she is constantly on it and she updates her profile picture from one sexy pose to another now. Not selfies per se. But poses. 

She also has posted a few things over last few weeks that suggest she's not happy.  In the latest one last night her mother gave her a compliment.  So she publicly thanked her. And in that she said  her mother has been with her through "staggering trials in life". And she needed the words her mother gave her In this world of seemingly no rhyme or reason.

Yet all of her staggering trials (losing her children, two divorces, another failed long term relationship, and the end of our relationship) she had a clear role in as she left all of us, and no doubt contributed to losing her children.

Anyhow between those posts to play the victim and garner sympathy. And between her sexy profile poses to attract men - she just seems so desperate or lonely or something. I feel sorry for her.

I still love her.  But feel sorry for her.

Maybe she is happy.  Who knows.

[Herodias]

She is not happy. Try to quit looking. Please don't ruin your trip thinking about her! I was so depressed on a cruise years ago over my ex that people thought I was going to jump off the back of the ship! As I look back now, I realize how ridiculous that was... .all for this loser, jerk that ruined my life! I should have left him alone then!

[MapleBob]

Hang in there, Scopikaz. I know it's tough, but the goal really (as much as the reality of it sucks) is to get used to her absence over time. Getting over it instead of being under it!

[Scopikaz]

Thank you Both. I wouldn't think she's fully happy either.  She's clearly looking for love. But the men she's meeting from what i can tell. None of them will make her happy. Maybe in the short term. In the moment. But not long term. I don't know. . It just sucks.

[MapleBob]

Thank you Both. I wouldn't think she's fully happy either.  She's clearly looking for love. But the men she's meeting from what i can tell. None of them will make her happy. Maybe in the short term. In the moment. But not long term. I don't know. . It just sucks.

I know. It does.

Mine (I hesitate to even call her "mine" is staying away so far. I'm at, like, 10 weeks NC. I still expect to hear from her eventually, but I don't know what good that will do, so I'm trying to (like I said) get used to her absence.

[Scopikaz]

Why do you think you'll hear from her?  Have you before?  I don't expect to hear from my ex.  She has far too many men who are likely interested in her to even need or want to reach out to me

[MapleBob]

Why do you think you'll hear from her?  Have you before?  I don't expect to hear from my ex.  She has far too many men who are likely interested in her to even need or want to reach out to me

Ehhhh, I'm really just saying that I'd give it even odds on me hearing from her again or not. That hunch is based a little bit on things that she said near the end (about timing, about needing time/space to calm down, about her being the problem and not being able to think straight), a little bit based on intuition, a little bit on my own personal hope of reconnecting, and a little bit based on knowing her.

Then again, I could very well be wrong, and I have lots of contradictory evidence that would lead me to believe she'd never ever reach out. I honestly try not to think about it too much. I'm not in control of what she does, I'm only in control of what I do. And what I'm doing is getting on with my life. Maybe she shows up again, maybe she doesn't. I'm trying to get to where either outcome would be okay.

[FannyB]

 In my opinion, whether they get back in touch is all about personal circumstance and ensuring their emotional survival - and pressure little about any residual feelings they may have for us. 

Consequently you should rule nothing in nor nothing out!



Fanny

[MapleBob]

In my opinion, whether they get back in touch is all about personal circumstance and ensuring their emotional survival - and pressure little about any residual feelings they may have for us. 

Consequently you should rule nothing in nor nothing out!

Oh yes, oh yes. I still feel like I'd be triggered by just seeing her name on my phone, so I'm not in a big hurry to hear from her, whatever her "personal circumstance"s might be.