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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
The other day, she told me that she was "a good and loving wife to me"
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Topic: The other day, she told me that she was "a good and loving wife to me" (Read 453 times)
Mr. Magnet
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 82
The other day, she told me that she was "a good and loving wife to me"
«
on:
March 24, 2016, 12:09:24 PM »
and how i was so terrible, etc.
she seems to be in process of deluding herself into believing she was the poor victim and that she is normal during this period between nons.
It is such a crazy mental illness.
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 12693
Re: The other day, she told me that she was "a good and loving wife to me"
«
Reply #1 on:
March 24, 2016, 12:11:52 PM »
i imagine it feels kind of invalidating with regard to your perspective of the relationship. howd you respond?
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Itstopsnow
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 324
Re: The other day, she told me that she was "a good and loving wife to me"
«
Reply #2 on:
March 24, 2016, 12:19:02 PM »
I'm sorry she is saying that and acting that way. It is very invalidating . But like you said it's s very disturbing and sick mental illness. Remember it's about them, not us. We take it so personally . And it's so hard not to. But what they do and how they justify it . That is about them and their needs . They are operating on a level that is so primal for them! They are trying to survive . And feel good about themselves when they are so empty and alone inside . It's a selfish self consuming illness
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Mr. Magnet
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 82
Re: The other day, she told me that she was "a good and loving wife to me"
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Reply #3 on:
March 24, 2016, 02:44:31 PM »
Quote from: once removed on March 24, 2016, 12:11:52 PM
i imagine it feels kind of invalidating with regard to your perspective of the relationship. howd you respond?
after years and years of constant and systemic invalidation by both her and her family, i am used to it. That said it's time to shake off this stockholm syndrome
as my therapist says, you aren't really angry with her, you are angry with yourself
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Mutt
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Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
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Re: The other day, she told me that she was "a good and loving wife to me"
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Reply #4 on:
March 24, 2016, 02:49:28 PM »
Did you angrily respond to your ex?
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"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
C.Stein
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2360
Re: The other day, she told me that she was "a good and loving wife to me"
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Reply #5 on:
March 24, 2016, 02:55:28 PM »
Quote from: Mr. Magnet on March 24, 2016, 02:44:31 PM
as my therapist says, you aren't really angry with her, you are angry with yourself
This is a question I ponder myself. While I have good reason to be angry with her I also have good reason to be angry with myself. Of course being angry doesn't solve anything so finding a way to turn the anger into something positive with respect to my own growth is what I need to focus on.
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Mr. Magnet
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 82
Re: The other day, she told me that she was "a good and loving wife to me"
«
Reply #6 on:
March 24, 2016, 03:00:44 PM »
Quote from: C.Stein on March 24, 2016, 02:55:28 PM
Quote from: Mr. Magnet on March 24, 2016, 02:44:31 PM
as my therapist says, you aren't really angry with her, you are angry with yourself
This is a question I ponder myself. While I have good reason to be angry with her I also have good reason to be angry with myself. Of course being angry doesn't solve anything so finding a way to turn the anger into something positive with respect to my own growth is what I need to focus on.
The purpose of anger is to protect
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The other day, she told me that she was "a good and loving wife to me"
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