Still waiting and very frustrated

[Depression = 72% of members]

He's still not paying me- he's never gone this long- I know he's trying to irritate me and it's working! His cat, that he was suppose to have is sick and I had to take him to the emergency vet. This could get costly. I let him know the cat is sick and reminded him that it will take 5 days for me to get his payment. I wasn't ugly about it- but he is ignoring me. I have to be careful because I don't want him to acuse me of harassing him. I know if he doesn't pay on time my lawyer will handle it... How do I calm myself and not blow up? This was my problem being with him- he could always get a reaction out of me. I'm trying hard not to now- I'm not good at this! He has ten days to pay me, but if he doesn't do it today it will go into the weekend and then he'll be late. I'm a worrier- yes. I just wanted to vent here so I don't explode! Letting go of explaining to him how things in this world work is hard- why do I continue to think of him as a child?  This is trying my patience and I don't have much!

[Herodias]

He's still not paying me- he's never gone this long- I know he's trying to irritate me and it's working! His cat, that he was suppose to have is sick and I had to take him to the emergency vet. This could get costly. I let him know the cat is sick and reminded him that it will take 5 days for me to get his payment. I wasn't ugly about it- but he is ignoring me. I have to be careful because I don't want him to acuse me of harassing him. I know if he doesn't pay on time my lawyer will handle it... How do I calm myself and not blow up? This was my problem being with him- he could always get a reaction out of me. I'm trying hard not to now- I'm not good at this! He has ten days to pay me, but if he doesn't do it today it will go into the weekend and then he'll be late. I'm a worrier- yes. I just wanted to vent here so I don't explode! Letting go of explaining to him how things in this world work is hard- why do I continue to think of him as a child?  This is trying my patience and I don't have much!

[C.Stein]

Well, you know he is habitually late with payments.  Maybe instead of getting upset you can just look at it as him being him, same ol' crap different month.

Why do you have his cat? 

[peace74]

I sympathize with you so much.  I'm a worrier too.  My ex pretty much ruined Thanksgiving and Christmas.  He filed bankruptcy and his employer was taking out his full payment before calculating my support.  I couldn't afford a lawyer and his payroll office wouldn't talk to me because I wasn't the employee.  He refused to call and straighten it out.  That is of course until two months later his lawyer told him to because it would hurt his case and it may be dismissed if he wasn't paying.  He has always been generous with things and money but that was because he had enough and he got what he wanted.  I saw that he wasn't that nice when he was trying to look out for himself and was running out of resources.  I view mine as a child too.  I am still worried about what I do and hurting him.  I have to parent him to parent our child.  I don't know about you but I really count on that money to live right now.  So it is very stressful to be counting on an individual that is soo unstable.  I am just hoping and praying he doesn't lose his job over drinking or some other thing.  Hang in there.  It's one of those things that can drive you crazy if you sit around and worry about it.  Like you said your lawyer will handle it if he doesn't.  And I know what you mean about getting a reaction from you.  I know they say to not give them any attention negative or positive but dang I'm not a saint 

Hang in there Blue! 

[Herodias]

I have the cat because he told me he wasn't responsible enough to take care of him... .Guess what? The gf went out and got him a cat! He probably told her I took the cat away from him! It is in the separation agreement that he was to take him... .why he's acting like everything has to be set in stone with that agreement make me wonder. He is the first one to not follow it. I do depend on it... .not desperately but I do need it. I thought about it and I am not sure how it works, but I got to thinking... If he doesn't pay and it has to be set up through the courts, I may be better off in the long run not having to deal with him! They told us it would cost money to do so... .I suppose if he doesn't follow through, he would have to pay. We will see what happens. It could turn out to be a good thing for me... .I am trying not to fret.

[peace74]

I was going to mention that about it automatically being taken out of his pay.  Unless he is self employed of course.  Other than the bankruptcy thing that eventually got worked out, knowing it is court ordered and directly taken from his pay is a relief.  I would go for that if at all possible.

[Herodias]

Unfortunately I am getting part of another benefit he receives and they won't do it. His job is iffy too, so it is better to be this other way... .thanks though. I am glad that is working for you.

[C.Stein]

I have the cat because he told me he wasn't responsible enough to take care of him... .Guess what? The gf went out and got him a cat! He probably told her I took the cat away from him! It is in the separation agreement that he was to take him... .why he's acting like everything has to be set in stone with that agreement make me wonder. He is the first one to not follow it. I do depend on it... .not desperately but I do need it. I thought about it and I am not sure how it works, but I got to thinking... If he doesn't pay and it has to be set up through the courts, I may be better off in the long run not having to deal with him! They told us it would cost money to do so... .I suppose if he doesn't follow through, he would have to pay. We will see what happens. It could turn out to be a good thing for me... .I am trying not to fret.

What's wrong with the cat?  How old is he?

[Herodias]

He is ten and he has gingivitis and also now a urinary issue... .these can get expensive if they get blocked. He seems to be doing better today. I just have to carefully watch him. He needs a liquid medicine every month twice a day for 5 days for the rest of his life for the gingivitis. This all came up a couple months ago. If my husband had the poor thing, he would be ignored I know. Except for the occasional holding him down torture, which I believe is part of why he is so mean at times. He was the only one that could hold him to give him medicine, but he also liked to hold him tight and not let him go in order to control him just of fun. It's better I have him! He finally paid me at 3:10 am! I got the text from the service at 3:10 am! I have asked him not to pay me through a text and to do it through email. So I have lost sleep... .I informed him that because he is refusing to respond to my email and he is refusing to pay me in the account I wish, I will no longer email him directly, but go through my lawyer. I informed him that this will cost $75 an email, in which he will be paying. I told him I was trying to be considerate of that by emailing him directly, but since he will not follow my request and is making things difficult for me, I will no longer try through him any longer. At least now I have told him the fees and it's on him. He always makes things harder than they need to be. Because of the timing of his payment, I know that he didn't need the money or spend the money, but was just holding out to annoy me. Isn't that something?