Coping

[FigureIt]

I've been on these boards since 2013. I've finally riped the bandage off and ended the relationship. I had to serve him papers to get out of the house we own together. I have a d10 so can't move. She is not my uBPDbf's. And he refuses to move.

Any advice on how to live in the same house? He won't even move out of the bedroom. It is so strange. One moment he is up, the next is down, then cocky, then up. It's a constant roller coaster.

[LilMe]

I don't have an answer, but can sympathize with you!  I just got out and it took me a few month to prepare. It was hell living with him during that time. May you be strong and patient during this time!

[WoundedBibi]

Is there no way to force him? I mean you have the right paperwork. If he doesn't comply with those can you not have him removed by the police? And change the locks...

Living together like this is basically the same rollercoaster as being in a BPD relationship. What a nightmare... Except you have some papers you served him. But I'm sure there must be more you can do with those. I mean they're not just meant for putting in a frame over your bed... He can ignore you but he can't ignore the papers.

[Teereese]

   Figureit

I am sorry that you are in this situation. What was he served ro make him move out?

Unfortunately, unless he moves voluntarily or there is domestic violence, there is not much you can do to force him to move. He is co-owner, so you cannot change the locks on him.

Ugh, I feel for you because it makes for misery to remain in the same household, never mind bedroom under these circumstances.

My stbxh moved out and then tried to move back in twice. There had been domestic violence, so I would not allow it. He then claimed that I kicked him out.

[FigureIt]

Three has been no domestic violence and we are joint owners so he can't be forced to leave. The papers served were to go to court for him to either buy me out (give me my down payment back) or sell and give me my down payment. This can take at least 2+ months. And he doesn't believe he should give me my down payment so then it could go longer.

[WoundedBibi]

Three has been no domestic violence and we are joint owners so he can't be forced to leave. The papers served were to go to court for him to either buy me out (give me my down payment back) or sell and give me my down payment. This can take at least 2+ months. And he doesn't believe he should give me my down payment so then it could go longer.

Shoot.

Ok, back to making it bearable to live there. I presume it's a one bedroom house and you can't move into a spare bedroom? Is there an option to block part of the living room off with a room divider or some closets so you can create some kind of bedroom space of your own? A walking in wardrobe you can bunk in?

Other than that, I guess I would try to arrange things so that you are home when he isn't and the other way round. As much as possible any way and if it's doable with work or school or whatever you have going on in your life. Have dinner at friends.

I would spend as little time together as possible to avoid any triggering, abuse, arguments, gaslighting, the works.

[FigureIt]

I have been trying to stay out of the house.  But, I do have a 10yr. old daughter who lives with me, so it is not always feasible to leave.  There is also the issue that he thinks I should "give him ONE more chance... ."  Believe me he's been given many chances and I just don't love him that way anymore.  I'm trying to be nice as not to cause him to spark. 

He even keeps asking/wanting me to have sex with him.  I haven't, but it's like he doesn't understand why I say no.  Then my birth control went missing, my guess is he threw it out... .He still asks and I said can't no BC.  He then blames me for it missing.