More insight

[JerryRG]

Talked to my doctor yesterday and she used to treat my exBPDgf so my doc knows my ex mental health intimately. My doc told me to stay away from my ex in order for me to recover, so back to nc. I cannot see my son either now that I'm nc again. My doc said I or no one else will ever understand why my ex does the things she does. Just that she's extremely mentally ill.

My daughter told me today that my ex has the maturity of a 10 year old so guess that fits as well. My daughter is very keen on reading people and she doesn't exaggerate.

I miss my son but when I'm around his mother I get ill. What a mess I've made for my innocent son. I have faith he will be ok and we will eventually be reunited and have peace.

My son's mother lies about me, her pretend illnesses and suicide gestures on public media and still she's concidered safe for my son? This is the definition of crazy.

[JQ]

Jerry,

I'm so sorry for what you are going through, really.  You know from being on the forums that your doctor speaks the truth as hard as it might be to accept. You're daughter is much wiser then her years on the planet. She also tells you the truth about your ex.

You are not the one responsible for your son's situation ... .you might have a part in it, but you are not the one that is mentally ill and therefore are NOT the one creating the chaos, frustration in his life. YOU have to remain the stable one that he looks to in his time of need. You have to remain strong for your daughter as well. But most importantly YOU have to remain strong for YOURSELF!   

Do not worry about what you son's mother tells him about you. Actions speak louder then words ever could and when you're together show him that you do care, that you do love him and that you are the rock in his life!  You're going to be the stable one!  Trust me on this one! Kids are smarter and more observant then you might give them credit for.

My BPD stepmother was EXTREMELY difficult to live with for 15 years while I lived under the same roof and even now she continues to let her flying monkey's out of their cage and expects me to be around and responsible to put them back in. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!  Your monkey's, you put them back in their cages!  Me & my siblings never knew what to expect from her when we came home from school. All we knew is the first one in the house would warn the others that mom was "in one of her moods" and we would make ourselves absent until our father came home or would go outside and play until dinner was ready. We would do anything to avoid getting on her crazy train roller coaster.  And this from more then one child in the house.

As I said, living apart from her is a good thing so when you do get your son, you can reassure him of a stable, normal home that is free from the flying monkey's!

Stay strong!  In time, you will have your son in your house. Until then, continue to work on yourself and become the recovering codependent we all know you want to be and can be!  We're here for you!   

J

[JerryRG]

Thank you JQ, you lifted me up and for that I am truly grateful. Thank you once more.

[JQ]

Jerry,

You are certainly welcome!  That's what the group is for! To help pick us up when we have those moments, and we all have those moments.  You got this and we got your back!   

J