I thought

[JerryRG]

I thought I was different,

I thought you were the one.

I thought I'd found my soul mate,

I thought my heart had won.

I thought you said you loved me,

I thought you would stop the lie,

I thought we were forever,

I thought love would never die.

I thought we would always be,

I thought you were my friend.

I thought one day your heart would see,

I thought love would never end.

I thought too much about us,

I thought of my life before.

I thought this day would never come,

I thought of you no more.

[HarleypsychRN]

Jerry I'm re-posting a post I did a few days ago. Maybe this will help you?

- I will not die

- I will not quit

- I deserve better

- I don't need a pathological liar in my life

- I will go on

- You have NOT broken me

- I will survive

- I am not sick like you tried to gaslight me to be

- I gave you love... .real love and you rejected it

- Go find another man stupid/needy/foolish to fall for your games

- You are sick and broken

- You will not take me down with you



"The calendar changes, they don't"- Unknown

[JerryRG]

Amen to that HarleypsychRN

I'm ok, I am able to separate her behaviour from my own.

And yes she is broken and still miserable and I am not, I'm sick this weekend and believe it's chemo related.

I still obsess but that's better too, when I do think about my ex I really don't have and connecting emotions, just the confusion most of us experience because,

1. PwBPD make no sense

2. Being with a pwBPD makes no sense

3. We can do something to change our circumstances, they do not.

4. The total weight of their insanity can burry us forever but only if we allow it.

5. I'm moving forward, my life, my choices.

I feel ashamed I ever tried to be with my ex, it's embarrassing when I realize how sick she is/was. Her new bf isn't any better and I have to pity him for his desperation. Because I sold out my values, my family, my friends and all the professionals that warned me.

I seen a beautify broken woman, they seen a helpless, hopeless person locked inside a sick shell of mental illness.

Reality is where I now choose to live