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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Doesn't really belong here  (Read 510 times)
WoundedBibi
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« on: May 02, 2016, 10:34:53 AM »

but it doesn't belong anywhere else on the board either and I still want to share it  Smiling (click to insert in post)

I ventured out today on my own for this first time since October. I had made an appointment for the hairdressers to get something done to the droopy look... it was really needed as being ill had not done my hair any good and not having been to the hairdressers since September meant it look rather disheveled. I was really nervous if I would be able to manage without help so I made sure I had enough time to get myself and my crutch down 2 flights of stairs, down the street and to the bus stop. I did have to stop several times on my way to the bus stop but I managed. The bus driver was the nice kind that doesn't start driving before you're in your seat because that of course was one of my worries and the bus wasn't packed full of people that pretend they can't see a person has just boarded that might need a seat. Yes another worry  Smiling (click to insert in post)  I know it sounds stupid but when you're (all of a sudden) not able bodied you worry about things like that.

Short bus ride, another short walk but long enough for me at present and I had arrived.

I actually liked being at the hairdressers which I normally don't. The sitting for that length of time (colouring, some fancy repair goo that had to soak in, washing, cutting, drying) was a bit of an issue as sitting hurts but I managed that too. And now I am a proper blond again!

Walking back to the bus for some reason exhausted me and the weather was really nice so I decided to treat myself to lunch in the sun close to the bus stop. More sitting (darn) but at least a different kind of chair, a nice lunch and I could rest from walking. There really should be options for public reclining  Smiling (click to insert in post)

I decided to make the most of my 'day out' and bought a plant at the shop next to the bus stop for my lovely neighbour who takes care of taking out my garbage.

So getting back was even more difficult, plant in bag in 1 hand, crutch in the other, fumbling around with my bus pass, but I did manage. Once again nice bus driver and a nice fellow passenger who got up for me.

By the time I walked back home and worked my way back up the stairs I was exhausted. Still am  Being cool (click to insert in post)

It was painful and the nerve in my leg got stuck several times which made me get stuck mid movement but it was a worthwhile event and I'm glad I was brave enough to do it and proud of me  Being cool (click to insert in post)  I so need a nap now...
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Sunfl0wer
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Relationship status: He moved out mid March
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« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2016, 10:43:07 AM »

Hi WoundedBibi,

It sounds like you had a nice well deserved enjoyable adventure!

I know I feel very good about things when I set off for an uncertain adventure and encounter small kindnesses from the world along my way.  It feels very encouraging to my soul.  Important that we are looking for them and appreciating them like warm sun rays on our spirits.

It sounds like you are continuing the kindness with your plant gift. 

Thank you for sharing!

It is helpful to my own soul to read. Being cool (click to insert in post)

~SF
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How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.~Anais Nin
eeks
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« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2016, 09:01:37 PM »

What do you mean, it doesn't belong here?    Doing the right thing (click to insert in post) 

I'm glad you chose to share an occasion where you took action to care for yourself and do something enjoyable.  That is something to be proud of Smiling (click to insert in post)

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HurtinNW
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« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2016, 10:38:39 PM »

I love this story! It is an inspiration to all of us to get out and not only have adventures but act like we deserve to be treated well. That's a tough one for me, too.

Thank you, blondie  Smiling (click to insert in post) 
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