Healing after a BPD relationship

[fluffyduck]

Healing after a BPD relationship seems to be taking so long, I can not understand why I could not just walk away and why I am still so upset.

I am really just beginning to understand that he had a BPD and this explains so many things now.

[heartandwhole]

Hi fluffyduck

I'm sorry to hear that the healing is taking longer than you'd like. I think many of us here can relate, though. I know I can. These kinds of relationships are very loaded and can bring up past wounds/trauma from childhood, so a breakup with someone with BPD can be much harder than in other situations. Hang in there, because things really do get better. They definitely have for me, and for many others. 

When you can, tell us a little more of your story, fluffyduck. How long were you together with your partner? Are you still in contact?

This site has tons of resources that can help, and members who have been in similar situations. Let us know how we can support you.

heartandwhole

[bus boy]

I feel for your very real pain. As I was told on this board, " healing is a process not an event". When I read those words on a post it helped me a lot. I'm separated for several years but hung on like a good codependant, hoping if I tried hard enough she would acknowledge me as a member of the human race and not a source to emotionally abused.  I was very wrong. When I pushed for proper access to s9 she dropped me like a ton of bricks. It was a heartless cold discard. That was almost 1 year ago. Some days I couldn't stand to be in my skin, I missed a lot of work, cried a lot.  All those feelings you are feeling are very normal. Hang in there, use these boards, find a good T, and if you have no children, no contact, if you have children, short to the point emails about the children only. The BPD does not and will not care about you as a person, only a source to feed off. Hang in, it does get better.

[Mutt]

Hi fluffyduck,



I'd like to join heartandwhole and bus boy and welcome you.

Healing after a BPD relationship seems to be taking so long, I can not understand why I could not just walk away and why I am still so upset.

Don't be hard on yourself.

You'll find many members here that can relate with you. It helps to talk.