Night out punctuated by thoughts of her

[Depression = 72% of members]

So I'm 2 months out, I finally escaped the town I live in for a few drinks and dinner, just a couple of hours away from our community.

Anyways it was very frustrating because at several times during the night I was hit with heavy pangs on sadness, missing my wife. I recovered each time, went back to talking but it definitely kept me on edge.

Now this is only my second time out post breakup because work keeps me in community 24/7. I'm moving to a city in 2 months, is this to be expected when I go out again? I think maybe it's because I miss holding my wife's hand when we go out and her company.

In fact fantasy wife has crept back into my head again tonight, I didn't have much of a devaluation/discard so it is easy to remember the good times we had tonight.

I suspect it's just something that will pass with time, I just hate the idea of her interrupting my 'fun' time. Anyone else have trouble in social settings thinking more about their BPDs?

[Ahoy]

So I'm 2 months out, I finally escaped the town I live in for a few drinks and dinner, just a couple of hours away from our community.

Anyways it was very frustrating because at several times during the night I was hit with heavy pangs on sadness, missing my wife. I recovered each time, went back to talking but it definitely kept me on edge.

Now this is only my second time out post breakup because work keeps me in community 24/7. I'm moving to a city in 2 months, is this to be expected when I go out again? I think maybe it's because I miss holding my wife's hand when we go out and her company.

In fact fantasy wife has crept back into my head again tonight, I didn't have much of a devaluation/discard so it is easy to remember the good times we had tonight.

I suspect it's just something that will pass with time, I just hate the idea of her interrupting my 'fun' time. Anyone else have trouble in social settings thinking more about their BPDs?

[SoMadSoSad]

Yea whenever I go out I think about how much more fun I would be having if she was there with me. Ruins my whole night to be honest.

[WoundedBibi]

As it has only been your second time out isn't it also because you've had 'so little training'? Or exposure, or whatever you want to call it? If you move and went out a lot more then you do now I bet the feeling of missing her will become a lot less a lot quicker.

[Ahoy]

As it has only been your second time out isn't it also because you've had 'so little training'? Or exposure, or whatever you want to call it? If you move and went out a lot more then you do now I bet the feeling of missing her will become a lot less a lot quicker.

I sincerely hope that's the case. I think it's just triggering nights out with her (dinners movies) we never stopped talking I think I miss that a lot

[WoundedBibi]

As it has only been your second time out isn't it also because you've had 'so little training'? Or exposure, or whatever you want to call it? If you move and went out a lot more then you do now I bet the feeling of missing her will become a lot less a lot quicker.

I sincerely hope that's the case. I think it's just triggering nights out with her (dinners movies) we never stopped talking I think I miss that a lot

I think it will be. The more memories you make of other really good nights out with other people the less awesome the nights out with her will seem.

When you never go out any night out will seem like nirvana...

[londons]

i am sorry to hear that she peppers your mind with thoughts as you try to recover and get on with your life as you knew it.  that is exactly why i have gone out with my friends only once in 4 months.  i know that after one beer my boundary line will be beaten with a stick and im going to come home and e mail all my true feelings to my hubby!  i am petrified of that.   so sad.   sad also that my best friend, living 3000 miles away, just texted me and asked how i was doing, and what i will be doing on my night off tonite... .   i told her the same as every saturday:  the 2 C's -  cleanin and cryin.    it is getting old and it must be getting old for my friends, family and kids.  i just cant hide the sadness, as much as i try      i dont know if i am more angry at him for putting my heart in blender or myself, for plugging the blender in.

[bus boy]

Hi Ahoy,

  Getting the ex BPD out of your system is a tough go. As I've said on these boards before, ex BPD wife left me several years ago. I was a walking disaster in a very small community. I turned my self inside out for that woman. Just shy of a year ago was the final discard. I spent the years before the final discard sitting by the phone waiting for her call, waiting for that magic moment that she would see my worth. I had zero social life, when she called I was there in 2 shakes of a lambs tail. Now I know she is gone for ever but I still sit home. Work to home and very little other human interaction in between. Only when s9 is with me I do more things. I have become to comfortable in this situation. I'm to the point where I get anxious when I'm away from home to long. I am terrified to give myself to another woman. Keep going out, be social, it will get better. Hind sight is 20/20, I think my life would be different if I let go of her and moved on in life. Mind you as a result of her heinous emotional abuse in thought I was no good but none the less I let my self stay in that spot. I hope you keep growing strong and do the let your self get stranded in your head. Now my ex BPD is out and social has her bf living in her house, seems very complete and I am trying to put my life back together.

[Tobiasfunke]

Yes. All the time. I hate it.