Daughter-In-Law and Divorce

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I have seriously angered my DIL who is in the middle of a divorce with my son. Worried about the future with my grandchildren if we can't find a common ground. Any advice on how to repair? Or is this hopeless because of the Black/White thinking. Am I now and forever an evil person in her eyes?

[SadDays]

I have seriously angered my DIL who is in the middle of a divorce with my son. Worried about the future with my grandchildren if we can't find a common ground. Any advice on how to repair? Or is this hopeless because of the Black/White thinking. Am I now and forever an evil person in her eyes?

[Turkish]

Staying out of it (at least that she knows, certainly support your son), may deflect her targetting. Whatever custody your son gets is his time (and yours). Don't telegraph or volunteer any information.

What's going on now regarding access to the kids that has you worried?

Turkish

[jdtm]

The only thing that I would add to the posting by Turkish is to document any interactions you might have with her (and there probably will be none).  If you can remember, list now things she said, things she did, dates, times, those involved.  Just be sure you are totally accurate - if you are not sure of some of the details, then omit them.  Documentation must be 100% factual.

It might be prudent of your son to document everything (hopefully he has been doing this; if not, start today).  When our son divorced his BPD wife, he had piles of documentation of things she said and did - dated, timed and witnessed.  This "story" of her character (and their life together) made it possible for him to gain custody of the children.  The divorce was quick - there was no "he said" she said".  So so sorry ... .