I honestly can't remember the last time we had a talk about serious issues without her dysregulating or throwing projections at me.
Oddly, that made me feel a bit sad. It's been easier to sustain the momentum and my confidence when she's raging and raving at me. Having her talk like a normal person threw me off my game.
Flourdust: it does feel weird when they stop the freak. My wife is hooked to the fact that she doesn't have a personality disorder because "they don't respond to meds." So she is embracing a diagnosis of BiPolar I. I have been struggling for years, it has affected me and indirectly affected my three kids. She now wants the youngest to have "the same diagnosis as Mommy," take the same meds and get the same results. He's 9. She's 50. It's a farce. Now she is even considering getting a part-time job----whoa nelly---I swore she told me she was "permanently disabled."
I made the separation step three months ago, she insists I move back into the bedroom "to keep the kids stable." She is the only one that is of that opinion.
She has been after me to take off my wedding band, but surprisingly hers "won't come off."
I am going to have to move forward this summer with the divorce, and I expect that she will have charged up the freak that I have battled in the past.
Time to not be afraid anymore. I wish you the best possible outcome.for you and your family.