Picking up the pieces

[Steve R.]

I recently got out of a 7 year relationship with a woman dwBPD. It was very abusive, and at times, violent. I have a 10 year old daughter who has known this woman as a stepmother for most of her life, and is starting to show BPD traits. After my exSO's diagnosis 15 months ago, we went into couples therapy to try and make it work. 12 months ago, I joined a support group for men who are in, or have survived an NPD/BPD relationship. 5 months ago, she started DBT. Her behavior started getting more erratic, to the point where a little over 2 months ago I ended the relationship for my daughter's and my safety. I'm currently in treatment for PTSD, anxiety, chronic depression, and dissociative amnesia.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Steve, Welcome!  You have come to a great place.  Many of us have been in your shoes (including me) and continue to wrestle with ongoing issues after a BPD r/s has ended.  It's great that you have found a support group for guys that share this experience.  It's a little different for men, I think, because there is this assumption out there that only women are subject to abuse.  Not true, of course, but men are reluctant to admit that they have been abused, in my view.  It seems embarrassing, or worse, shameful.  So I suspect that abuse of men by women is underreported.  In any event, you seem to be making progress, so keep us posted.

LuckyJim

[Mutt]

Hi Steve R.



I'm sorry to hear that. Anxiety and depression is tough. 7 years is a long history. A relationship break-up with a pwBPD can feel confusing, chaotic, painful and as you said, we're left feeling broken. Your D10 has known your exBPDgf for most of her life, how is your D10 coping?

I'm glad that you have found us. Lucky Jim points out that you will find many members here that can relate with you and give you guidance and support. You're not alone.

[Steve R.]

Hi Steve R.



I'm sorry to hear that. Anxiety and depression is tough. 7 years is a long history. A relationship break-up with a pwBPD can feel confusing, chaotic, painful and as you said, we're left feeling broken. Your D10 has known your exBPDgf for most of her life, how is your D10 coping?

I'm glad that you have found us. Lucky Jim points out that you will find many members here that can relate with you and give you guidance and support. You're not alone.

She has an intake appointment at a youth psychiatric hospital tomorrow. It's going to be a rough day for both of us.

[Mutt]

Hi Steve R.



I'm sorry to hear that. Anxiety and depression is tough. 7 years is a long history. A relationship break-up with a pwBPD can feel confusing, chaotic, painful and as you said, we're left feeling broken. Your D10 has known your exBPDgf for most of her life, how is your D10 coping?

I'm glad that you have found us. Lucky Jim points out that you will find many members here that can relate with you and give you guidance and support. You're not alone.

She has an intake appointment at a youth psychiatric hospital tomorrow. It's going to be a rough day for both of us.

I would also feel anxious about tomorrow. We have many boards at bpdfamily, feel free to look around. I will leave you with a link to our parenting board, it helps to talk. Hang in there.

Parenting a Son or Daughter Suffering from BPD

[Turkish]

Hi SR,

Definitely check out the parenting board as Mutt suggested. What's the story on your daughter's bio mom, is she in the picture?

[bus boy]

Hi Steve R,

Sorry to hear of your problems that are so clearly linked to a r/s with a BPD. I have a wonderful T but I must say these boards brought me a long way in a short time. Last week I was blamed for s9's cavities this week she got her BF to sneak into the change room at s9 swimming lessons and put his cloths bag in a totally different change room. I was in the change room after swimming, looking in every locker for s9's clothes and they were in a totally different room. So my long winded point is, I did not react like before, I did not own what she was giving me. I learned a lot on here, even just by reading different posts and saying wow, that's my story. Wishing you all the best.

[Steve R.]

Hi SR,

Definitely check out the parenting board as Mutt suggested. What's the story on your daughter's bio mom, is she in the picture?

Her mother is a Cluster B handful, but more sociopath/Antisocial Personality Disorder. She has custody from lying in court. I get a decent amount of visitation during the school year, and 50/50 during the summer. My d10 is not being admitted for at least two more weeks after school lets out.