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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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years of dealing with BPD lover/friend and I have to save myself and let it go
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Topic: years of dealing with BPD lover/friend and I have to save myself and let it go (Read 1146 times)
Ruby2shoes
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Posts: 1
years of dealing with BPD lover/friend and I have to save myself and let it go
«
on:
May 25, 2016, 11:18:25 PM »
My lover and friend for 40 years has finally worn me down with her BPD. I feel that even though I still love her, my life would have been so much happier had I never met her. At this late age I just cannot take the revolving love then abuse cycle. I am tired of being wonderful one day or for a short while and then a 180 degree "I hate you" projected at me in the most hurtful ways. She will blame me for things that never happened and then not talk to me for a long time as though I am so bad she cannot even say a word to me. The hateful silent treatments hurt the worst. I am getting older now and have made my own friends and am finally removing myself from the triangulation that she always set up to play one person against the other. Now that I am healing I can see that I was sick in this relationship. I saw her as my family and after 40 years I have decided that living my life with this person is not worth any family feelings I thought I needed. Family is not necessarily a God-like thing to be worshiped at all cost. It can be, with a BPD person that you love, a hell on earth!
I need to stay strong and finally nurture myself for once. I think I'm old enough and battle worn enough to deserve a life with some sanity. I need emotional support to not give in when she comes back for about the "I lost count years ago" again. Not again. I want to live.
Thank you
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Turkish
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2013; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12127
Dad to my wolf pack
Re: years of dealing with BPD lover/friend and I have to save myself and let it go
«
Reply #1 on:
May 25, 2016, 11:38:16 PM »
Quote from: Ruby2shoes on May 25, 2016, 11:18:25 PM
I need to stay strong and finally nurture myself for once. I think I'm old enough and battle worn enough to deserve a life with some sanity. I need emotional support to not give in when she comes back for about the
"I lost count years ago"
again. Not again. I want to live.
Hi Ruby2shoes,
What does she mean by that? How recently are you seperated, and what's the contact situation look like? How many previous break ups have you had? I hope to hear more and how we can support you
Turkish
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“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Stripey77
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 266
Re: years of dealing with BPD lover/friend and I have to save myself and let it go
«
Reply #2 on:
May 26, 2016, 02:39:25 AM »
Welcome Ruby, there's lots of support on here from people in similar (but different) situations. If you feel that making the break is the best thing for your health and well being, then well done for making that move. It's never too late to create a new life for ourselves.
Turkish, I hope you don't mind me replying, but I believe that it's Ruby saying 'I lost count years ago', not the ex. As in, Ruby has lost count of how many times she has gone away and come back again.
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