exBPDgf Called Me After a Year

[WhatJustHappened?]

Life is so strange. Out of the blue, my exBPDgf calls me this morning. I had been trying to establish some sort of friend connection since we broke up a year earlier with no response.

I am a new relationship with a woman with whom it fantastic. She is everything I could hope for and then some. I am, by chance, actually moving back to Southern California where this new lady lives in a couple of weeks as I am starting a new job and will be closer to my folks. Of course, this is the same area where koo koo bird lives.

Some interesting observations:

1.) It was really great to hear from her so that I at least knows she's OK.

2.) While koo koo bird and I have a special attraction, in no way do I feel tempted to jeopardize my new relationship by doing something stupid.

3.) Life works in strange ways, is this a test? It feels like one.

4.) What does she want? She was dating someone and it didn't work out. Sounds about right. Now I'm being called.

5.) She sounded perfectly normal. Same way she sounded when we re-connected. On her best behavior.

Honestly, my head is spinning as I was caught off guard. But I do know that point #2 is right on the mark.

[Invictus01]

Cool man. Treat her like any other female you have no romantic interest in. Nothing more, nothing less.

[Hidden]

Was she apologetic? Just casual?

[WhatJustHappened?]

No, not apologetic, more like "lets forget it ever happened". She wants something as she mentioned that she's having a hard time finding chemistry with other men. I know what that means. Not happening.

[Herodias]

It's like they have mental telepathy to know you are with someone and happy... .Them bam- there they are to try and mess it up. So I have heard... .not there yet myself... .I would be curious about how she is doing, but any more than that- forget it. She wants something- that's for sure... .

[Leonis]

This is something I'm afraid of for myself in the future.

I'm afraid my ex will contact me as soon as I am starting to date again, just to suck me in for round 3? (I lost count)

[sweet tooth]

This is something I'm afraid of for myself in the future.

I'm afraid my ex will contact me as soon as I am starting to date again, just to suck me in for round 3? (I lost count)

Same here. Mine has a history of disappearing, reappearing, and acting like nothing happened. She told me not to contact her again, but I have the same fear that she'll re-engage.

[Hidden]

No, not apologetic, more like "lets forget it ever happened". She wants something as she mentioned that she's having a hard time finding chemistry with other men. I know what that means. Not happening.

Then that's not appropriate behavior indeed. Would you be feeling differently if she was asking for forgiveness and acknowledging flaws?

[FannyB]

No, not apologetic, more like "lets forget it ever happened". She wants something as she mentioned that she's having a hard time finding chemistry with other men. I know what that means. Not happening.

Glad you're staying strong mate.  PwBPD are not mythical creatures - the 'power' they wield is whatever we choose to grant them. You're doing well in your private life and know your own mind - therefore she's as relevant, or irrelevant, as any other ex just wanting to say hello.  You have the power!


Fanny

[WhatJustHappened?]

No, not apologetic, more like "lets forget it ever happened". She wants something as she mentioned that she's having a hard time finding chemistry with other men. I know what that means. Not happening.

Then that's not appropriate behavior indeed. Would you be feeling differently if she was asking for forgiveness and acknowledging flaws?

No, not really. I would still feel like there would be insincerity and an agenda on her part designed to get her what she wanted.

[WhatJustHappened?]

No, not apologetic, more like "lets forget it ever happened". She wants something as she mentioned that she's having a hard time finding chemistry with other men. I know what that means. Not happening.

Glad you're staying strong mate.  PwBPD are not mythical creatures - the 'power' they wield is whatever we choose to grant them. You're doing well in your private life and know your own mind - therefore she's as relevant, or irrelevant, as any other ex just wanting to say hello.  You have the power!


Fanny

Thank you Fanny... .I am just so glad I found this site. I see her for what she is. But even with all the pain she has inflicted, it was nice to hear that she is doing as well as a pwBPD can. Although she would never admit to having it.

[WhatJustHappened?]

This seems such a non-event. I had been waiting for contact and when she did, "meh". I can't say that my heart didn't skip a beat but certainly nothing ground-shaking.

I'm betting if I had not met the lovely lady I am dating now, then maybe there would have been more but who knows?

Maybe we tend to make it more romantic than it actually is?