Well my exBPD started the victim playing

[drummerboy5]

My 35 week pregnant exBPD started her victim game via Facebook the last few days. A friend that my exBPD is friends with has informed me my ex is posting a lot of stuff about toxic people and how she's been lied to and cheated on. Lol I have never done any of those things to her... She's the one that lies and is toxic. SMDH! She is such a delusional woman. I really don't get how anyone can be so blind to not know what she has done with all the verbal abuse, silent treatments,threats and the list goes on. How is she going to be a fit mother with her episodes and acting like a child herself? Im haven't contacted her in months and don't want to... She really is just full of sh*t and her victim playing actually helps me to never want to go back to her at all!

[JerryRG]

Hey drummerboy5

What else would they do with their time then blame everyone else for the exact things they do to us?. It's sad but it's just the way some people are. My exgf is a master at this game. Without being the victim they would have to face reality and accept their own behaviours. I am soo grateful I can hear the truth so I can change. I cry all the time knowing the horrible things I've done to harm others and I can do something about it.

Blame = victim hood

Victims have no power to change because the power always rests in what others do or have done.

My sponsor describes self pity as the trail of slime a slug leaves behind them as they move, very disrespectful to pity oneself given all the good we have and how little the majority of the world live without

[sweet tooth]

Two things:

1. Rambling about toxic people is Projection on her part. If you're unfamiliar with the term, it's when a disordered person takes their own negative traits and projects those traits onto a target. It's a defense mechanism to protect the instigator from unpleasant feelings about themself. Projection is common among high conflict and Cluster B Personalities.

An example: A jealous, lecherous husband unjustifiably accuses his wife of cheating on him after HE had an affair.  

2. Is the kid yours? If not, you're free if you choose to be.

[drummerboy5]

Two things:

1. Rambling about toxic people is Projection on her part. If you're unfamiliar with the term, it's when a disordered person takes their own negative traits and projects those traits onto a target. It's a defense mechanism to protect the instigator from unpleasant feelings about themself. Projection is common among high conflict and Cluster B Personalities.

An example: A jealous, lecherous husband unjustifiably accuses his wife of cheating on him after HE had an affair.  

2. Is the kid yours? If not, you're free if you choose to be.

That's what I thought she was doing(projecting) she has said the child is mine but when I asked for DNA testing she cut all contact and said I wasn't allowed at doc appts. She hasn't included me in anything dealing with the child(name of child)

[Rayban]

Anything to get attention, and playing the victim is a favorite one they use when they are fishing for a reaction. I've also been privy to the energy vampire and abusive boyfriend posts on social media. It kept me upset and attached to her drama. I've since canceled my social media accounts, at least she can't get to me there. Next step is blocking her number on my phone.

[drummerboy5]

Hey drummerboy5

What else would they do with their time then blame everyone else for the exact things they do to us?. It's sad but it's just the way some people are. My exgf is a master at this game. Without being the victim they would have to face reality and accept their own behaviours. I am soo grateful I can hear the truth so I can change. I cry all the time knowing the horrible things I've done to harm others and I can do something about it.

Blame = victim hood

Victims have no power to change because the power always rests in what others do or have done.

My sponsor describes self pity as the trail of slime a slug leaves behind them as they move, very disrespectful to pity oneself given all the good we have and how little the majority of the world live without

Jerry I know how you feel. I've been shutout of the pregnancy 100% for voicing my opinions. It hurts but hell, if my exBPD can play victim who knows what's she's lied about? I'm getting a DNA test before I spend another dime on anything!

[drummerboy5]

Anything to get attention, and playing the victim is a favorite one they use when they are fishing for a reaction. I've also been privy to the energy vampire and abusive boyfriend posts on social media. It kept me upset and attached to her drama. I've since canceled my social media accounts, at least she can't get to me there. Next step is blocking her number on my phone.

she just unblocked me on fb about a month ago. That was after being blocked since December. I told my T and asked her if I should block her and my T said leave it alone. Blocking will give her a reaction staying quite is the best option...

[sweet tooth]

Drum, assuming you are the father, do you want a relationship with the child? What are your thoughts?

I highly recommend that you get a DNA test.

[Dhand77]

Anything to get attention, and playing the victim is a favorite one they use when they are fishing for a reaction. I've also been privy to the energy vampire and abusive boyfriend posts on social media. It kept me upset and attached to her drama. I've since canceled my social media accounts, at least she can't get to me there. Next step is blocking her number on my phone.

I too, just did this. I deactivated everything. Social media is kind of ruined for me for the time being. Mostly because I want her to KNOW NOTHING of my life currently.

[drummerboy5]

Drum, assuming you are the father, do you want a relationship with the child? What are your thoughts?

I highly recommend that you get a DNA test.

.

That's a very tough question? I've talked to my T about co parenting and also just paying support but not getting visitation/giving mother sole custody. I already have childeren which one I have custody of that is 5. My exBPD got prego after a split/reunion and I'm almost positive that if the child is mine she planned it without my consent. My T feels the same and deals with pwBPD and nons. I really don't want the mother trying to use the child to control me like she does with her other child's father. My exBPD has turned the other child's father into a mess emotionally and physically. I've got to stay strong for my other childeren especially the child I have custody of.

I would fight her in court for custody but her family is very wealthy and the flock flies together if you know what I mean? Lol I honestly feel I was trapped into fatherhood and I hate to say that but it makes sense getting prego after a split/reunion and my T confirmed that some BPD are Notorious for trapping men or faking pregnancies to speed the relationship up faster for marriage which is what my ex was pushing.my exBPD had the same thing happen with the other father, break up,reunion and boom prego. I proposed only to be treated like sh*t the next day. After months of abuse I left after the proposal went bad.

[sweet tooth]

Drum, assuming you are the father, do you want a relationship with the child? What are your thoughts?

I highly recommend that you get a DNA test.

.

That's a very tough question? I've talked to my T about co parenting and also just paying support but not getting visitation/giving mother sole custody. I already have childeren which one I have custody of that is 5. My exBPD got prego after a split/reunion and I'm almost positive that if the child is mine she planned it without my consent. My T feels the same and deals with pwBPD and nons. I really don't want the mother trying to use the child to control me like she does with her other child's father. My exBPD has turned the other child's father into a mess emotionally and physically. I've got to stay strong for my other childeren especially the child I have custody of.

I would fight her in court for custody but her family is very wealthy and the flock flies together if you know what I mean? Lol I honestly feel I was trapped into fatherhood and I hate to say that but it makes sense getting prego after a split/reunion and my T confirmed that some BPD are Notorious for trapping men or faking pregnancies to speed the relationship up faster for marriage which is what my ex was pushing.my exBPD had the same thing happen with the other father, break up,reunion and boom prego. I proposed only to be treated like sh*t the next day. After months of abuse I left after the proposal went bad.

Discussing it with your T is a good step. You don't even know if the kid is yours. I would definitely find that out.

[drummerboy5]

Drum, assuming you are the father, do you want a relationship with the child? What are your thoughts?

I highly recommend that you get a DNA test.

.

That's a very tough question? I've talked to my T about co parenting and also just paying support but not getting visitation/giving mother sole custody. I already have childeren which one I have custody of that is 5. My exBPD got prego after a split/reunion and I'm almost positive that if the child is mine she planned it without my consent. My T feels the same and deals with pwBPD and nons. I really don't want the mother trying to use the child to control me like she does with her other child's father. My exBPD has turned the other child's father into a mess emotionally and physically. I've got to stay strong for my other childeren especially the child I have custody of.

I would fight her in court for custody but her family is very wealthy and the flock flies together if you know what I mean? Lol I honestly feel I was trapped into fatherhood and I hate to say that but it makes sense getting prego after a split/reunion and my T confirmed that some BPD are Notorious for trapping men or faking pregnancies to speed the relationship up faster for marriage which is what my ex was pushing.my exBPD had the same thing happen with the other father, break up,reunion and boom prego. I proposed only to be treated like sh*t the next day. After months of abuse I left after the proposal went bad.

Discussing it with your T is a good step. You don't even know if the kid is yours. I would definitely find that out.

I agree and being that my exBPD is  delusional  and blames others for her behavior, I wouldn't put it past her to lie about the paternity or to trick me into being the father. Oh I forgot to add that the day before our reunion she was on a date with another man and that was around the time she got pregnant... She was abusing alcohol also during that time. I think I have every right to wonder about the paternity of the child... She get pissed of course and said how dare you accuse me of cheating

[sweet tooth]

Of course you have the right to know! She's the one trying to turn it into Maury Povitch stuff. It would be the ultimate con to have somebody pay child support for a kid that isn't even his. Don't let that happen to you, man. If it's not yours you have the freedom to walk away and never look back.

I feel horribly for my ex's kid. If it were up to me I'd raise that kid as my own. But it's not up to me. She's not my child and I have no right to her. It's just the way it is.