I'm either paranoid, being messed with, or both

[sweet tooth]

-I'm still getting the creepy LinkedIn views. I got four of them in a few days.

-A mutual acquaintance who I haven't spoken to in six months asked me to come to an event the other day (that was held earlier today). She has a boyfriend and we're not close, so I found it odd.

-I got a FB message this morning that said "Hi." That's it. The person has no profile picture, no information, and only 2 friend.

If all of this happened alone I'd write it all off. However, the proximity of the events within a few days seems suspect. I freely admit I might just being paranoid. Higher, I find this all suspicious.

[sweet tooth]

By the way, my ex used to initiate text messages with "Hi" sometimes. Nothing else. I realize that's very common. It's just confusing and messing with my head.

[once removed]

It's just confusing and messing with my head.

understandable. right or wrong, i dont think youre being paranoid. what, if anything, do you intend to do about it?

[sweet tooth]

It's just confusing and messing with my head.

understandable. right or wrong, i dont think youre being paranoid. what, if anything, do you intend to do about it?

Thank you for your response, Once. You're dedicated and helpful. I appreciate it.

I really don't know what I want to do about it.

[bAlex]

I'd say you might be a bit paranoid, which is understandable. Perhaps a part of you wants her to contact you?

[sweet tooth]

I'd say you might be a bit paranoid, which is understandable. Perhaps a part of you wants her to contact you?

Maybe. I don't know.

[insideoutside]

Hi sweet tooth

I got a weird text off an unrecognised number late last night; couple of hours after changing my FB profile picture and a day after I did the same thing to my friend.  To me it's too much of a coincidence but it may be wishful thinking on my part.

If it is our pwBPD I wish they'd stop playing games and just be upfront and contact us!

[sweet tooth]

Hi sweet tooth

I got a weird text off an unrecognised number late last night; couple of hours after changing my FB profile picture and a day after I did the same thing to my friend.  To me it's too much of a coincidence but it may be wishful thinking on my part.

If it is our pwBPD I wish they'd stop playing games and just be upfront and contact us!

Yes, I saw your thread. I agree 100%

[C.Stein]

I really don't know what I want to do about it.

What can you do about it?

[sweet tooth]

I really don't know what I want to do about it.

What can you do about it?

Not much, I suppose, other than change how I think and how I react.

[C.Stein]

I really don't know what I want to do about it.

What can you do about it?

Not much, I suppose, other than change how I think and how I react.

Excellent insight.  You can choose to make something of these anonymous "contacts" or not.  It is entirely up to you.

What is the right choice for you and your healing?

[sweet tooth]

I really don't know. I'm still kind of figuring everything out. Still in the FOG. Still recovering. Part of me wants her back and another part is glad she's gone. It's almost like she's two separate people and on the one hand I'll mourning a loss while on the other hand coming to terms with the instability, silent treatment, lies, etc. I'm horribly conflicted.

[C.Stein]

I really don't know. I'm still kind of figuring everything out. Still in the FOG. Still recovering. Part of me wants her back and another part is glad she's gone. It's almost like she's two separate people and on the one hand I'll mourning a loss while on the other hand coming to terms with the instability, silent treatment, lies, etc. I'm horribly conflicted.

I know exactly how you are feeling bud.  It took me 3 months at least to get out of the FOG and to stop feeling horribly conflicted.   Now those feelings come now and then, still daily but at least not every waking second.  It gets better, stay strong and believe it will.

[sweet tooth]

Thanks. I'm trying.

[C.Stein]

Thanks. I'm trying.

Good deal.  I know it feels like your brain is being ripped in two right now trying to reconcile the different parts of your ex.  When you feel like you are thinking too much about one side force yourself to think of the other side.  Try to balance the thoughts so you don't get caught up in any one vein of thinking.

[sweet tooth]

UPDATE: She re-activated her Facebook and de-friended me and my good friend. She deactivated her Facebook 10 months ago. This all happened in a period of 3 days. It sounds way too suspicious to be a coincidence.

Am I being f***** with?

[insideoutside]

UPDATE: She re-activated her Facebook and de-friended me and my good friend. She deactivated her Facebook 10 months ago. This all happened in a period of 3 days. It sounds way too suspicious to be a coincidence.

Am I being f***** with?

Sounds like it but only she knows for sure.  I've had no more funny texts etc so now I'm back thinking it was all my imagination.

Total headf**k; all of it. 

[sweet tooth]

UPDATE: She re-activated her Facebook and de-friended me and my good friend. She deactivated her Facebook 10 months ago. This all happened in a period of 3 days. It sounds way too suspicious to be a coincidence.

Am I being f***** with?

Sounds like it but only she knows for sure.  I've had no more funny texts etc so now I'm back thinking it was all my imagination.

Total headf**k; all of it. 

Izzy, maybe it was in your head. Maybe it wasn't. Whatever the case, this is the effect these people have on us.

Now I'm asking myself, "why would she un-friend me if she is monitoring me in other ways? Maybe she's not." Then I remember that her entire life is a contradiction. She told me she doesn't want a relationship but the first line of her Match profile says, "I have a lot to offer a relationship." That's just one of multiple examples. She also made it quite clear that she wouldn't be using FB again. I had a suspicion that she would change her mind. She can't make up her mind about anything, which makes me believe it's only a matter of time before she attempts to re-engage.

Like you said, a headf**k. It's also a complete nightmare. It's amazing how much your life, emotions, and mindset can change relatively quickly... .

[C.Stein]

UPDATE: She re-activated her Facebook and de-friended me and my good friend. She deactivated her Facebook 10 months ago. This all happened in a period of 3 days. It sounds way too suspicious to be a coincidence.

Am I being f***** with?

What does it matter if she is doing it to mess with you?  You can give it meaning or not ... .your choice.  

[sweet tooth]

UPDATE: She re-activated her Facebook and de-friended me and my good friend. She deactivated her Facebook 10 months ago. This all happened in a period of 3 days. It sounds way too suspicious to be a coincidence.

Am I being f***** with?

What does it matter if she is doing it to mess with you?  You can give it meaning or not ... .your choice.  

It matters because it's cruel. I'm a human being with feelings and emotions. I'm tired of people treating me poorly.

[C.Stein]

UPDATE: She re-activated her Facebook and de-friended me and my good friend. She deactivated her Facebook 10 months ago. This all happened in a period of 3 days. It sounds way too suspicious to be a coincidence.

Am I being f***** with?

What does it matter if she is doing it to mess with you?  You can give it meaning or not ... .your choice.  

It matters because it's cruel. I'm a human being with feelings and emotions. I'm tired of people treating me poorly.

I understand and agree.  Thing is, you don't know what her reasons for doing it are.  It is your choice to take it personally or not.

[once removed]

Maybe it wasn't. Whatever the case, this is the effect these people have on us.

... .makes me believe it's only a matter of time before she attempts to re-engage.

I'm tired of people treating me poorly.

so where are you in all of this, sweet tooth? you are giving her a great deal of power here.

[sweet tooth]

Maybe it wasn't. Whatever the case, this is the effect these people have on us.

... .makes me believe it's only a matter of time before she attempts to re-engage.

I'm tired of people treating me poorly.

so where are you in all of this, sweet tooth? you are giving her a great deal of power here.

I'm hurt, broken, confused, and tormented. I hate my life. It's been interludes of peace to trauma. I just want to be happy and content. I'm tired of being everyone's whipping boy. I'm tired of people having control over me, my parents, my job, my school, social relationships. I'm tired of needless BS. I'm tired of not having people love me for who I am and having to beg for the affection that everybody deserves. I'm tired of feeling like God abandoned me. I'm tired of crying and being angry. I'm tired of being stuck. I'm tired of working a dead end job that forces me to live with my parents because I couldn't survive otherwise. I'm tired of working hard at life and still being in the same spot. I'm sick of my psycho ex acting like a child rather than adult and treating me like I'mpond scum. I'm tired of watching all of my friends and family move on with their lives while I'm stuck. I'mtirrd of being sexually frustrated. I'm so f*cking overwhelmed with negativity and stress. I f*cking hate it.

[C.Stein]

I'm hurt, broken, confused, and tormented. I hate my life. It's been interludes of peace to trauma. I just want to be happy and content. I'm tired of being everyone's whipping boy. I'm tired of people having control over me, my parents, my job, my school, social relationships. I'm tired of needless BS. I'm tired of not having people love me for who I am and having to beg for the affection that everybody deserves. I'm tired of feeling like God abandoned me. I'm tired of crying and being angry. I'm tired of being stuck. I'm tired of working a dead end job that forces me to live with my parents because I couldn't survive otherwise. I'm tired of working hard at life and still being in the same spot. I'm sick of my psycho ex acting like a child rather than adult and treating me like I'mpond scum. I'm tired of watching all of my friends and family move on with their lives while I'm stuck. I'mtirrd of being sexually frustrated. I'm so f*cking overwhelmed with negativity and stress. I f*cking hate it.

Most of these things you have listed are within your power to change.  Your life is in your control, so how do you want to start taking control of your life?

[sweet tooth]

I'm hurt, broken, confused, and tormented. I hate my life. It's been interludes of peace to trauma. I just want to be happy and content. I'm tired of being everyone's whipping boy. I'm tired of people having control over me, my parents, my job, my school, social relationships. I'm tired of needless BS. I'm tired of not having people love me for who I am and having to beg for the affection that everybody deserves. I'm tired of feeling like God abandoned me. I'm tired of crying and being angry. I'm tired of being stuck. I'm tired of working a dead end job that forces me to live with my parents because I couldn't survive otherwise. I'm tired of working hard at life and still being in the same spot. I'm sick of my psycho ex acting like a child rather than adult and treating me like I'mpond scum. I'm tired of watching all of my friends and family move on with their lives while I'm stuck. I'mtirrd of being sexually frustrated. I'm so f*cking overwhelmed with negativity and stress. I f*cking hate it.

Most of these things you have listed are within your power to change.  Your life is in your control, so how do you want to start taking control of your life?

I don't know what I can do.

[C.Stein]

I'm hurt, broken, confused, and tormented. I hate my life. It's been interludes of peace to trauma. I just want to be happy and content. I'm tired of being everyone's whipping boy. I'm tired of people having control over me, my parents, my job, my school, social relationships. I'm tired of needless BS. I'm tired of not having people love me for who I am and having to beg for the affection that everybody deserves. I'm tired of feeling like God abandoned me. I'm tired of crying and being angry. I'm tired of being stuck. I'm tired of working a dead end job that forces me to live with my parents because I couldn't survive otherwise. I'm tired of working hard at life and still being in the same spot. I'm sick of my psycho ex acting like a child rather than adult and treating me like I'mpond scum. I'm tired of watching all of my friends and family move on with their lives while I'm stuck. I'mtirrd of being sexually frustrated. I'm so f*cking overwhelmed with negativity and stress. I f*cking hate it.

Most of these things you have listed are within your power to change.  Your life is in your control, so how do you want to start taking control of your life?

I don't know what I can do.

One step at a time.  Take one of the issues you listed and explore ways you can change it.

[Confused108]

Hang in there Sweet ! I know it seems like life sucks right now. We all have been there trust me. You can change all those things you mentioned. I don't know how old you are but go to school. Get a degree. Maybe dable in BPD. Abnormal Psychology . Educate people about this disorder.  Don't let your ex get you down. One thing I myself is guilty of is trying to remember just how sick these people really are. I forget that. A lot. And yes I believe that was your ex with all you described. You know what I strongly feel my ex was behind. I know it's hard. I think about my ex everyday. It sucks! But the only closure I have is knowing I can never be with her bc of how sick she is. Hang in there buddy!

[sweet tooth]

Hang in there Sweet ! I know it seems like life sucks right now. We all have been there trust me. You can change all those things you mentioned. I don't know how old you are but go to school. Get a degree. Maybe dable in BPD. Abnormal Psychology . Educate people about this disorder.  Don't let your ex get you down. One thing I myself is guilty of is trying to remember just how sick these people really are. I forget that. A lot. And yes I believe that was your ex with all you described. You know what I strongly feel my ex was behind. I know it's hard. I think about my ex everyday. It sucks! But the only closure I have is knowing I can never be with her bc of how sick she is. Hang in there buddy!

Thank you, confused. I appreciate the support. I'm in my early 30s and I'm in grad school. It has it's ups and downs. The down parts are rough for me.

Why do our exes do stuff like this rather than just being grown ups and talking to us? I'm really struggling with that. Instead of toying with me, why not just say, "Sweet Tooth, I want to talk to you?" Why monitor me in secret and de-friend me in public? It makes no sense. Even when it's explained in the vein of shame it's confusing to me. Yes, she hurt and betrayed me. I'm forgiving to a fault and she pribably knows this. I wouldn't respond with, "Buzz off, X." It's extraordinarily frustrating.

[Confused108]

I totally agree with you! But we can't forget unfortunalty we are not dealing with a normal individual. They are mentally ill. So that is a huge factor. Listen my ex after at first did t except her invite to Canada in 2014 hooked up with you g 20 something year old guy from Florida she found on line. She had him come to her  place and for 10 days used this poor guy. Well guess what he fell in love with her. And meanwhile went after me . Told me about this poor kid last year after she already roped me in. Then had the nerve to tell me that she had to get drunk just to put up with him there and having sex with him!  I could not get over what I had just heard. Even tho I was her 1 ST love at 14 and she got mentally ill from my Mom braking us up she still broke my heart. And I dated my ex before she became what she is today. A Monster. A sly calculating seductress. Plays with everyone who comes her way. It's sad really. So we have to remember that they are sick unfortunalty. You will find the right girl one day sweet. Just have to keep your eyes open.

[Confused108]

Oh and one other thing yes I agree with you if why can't they come and talk to us instead of these games. I believe mine sent me 2 fake FB messages in Feb. the last one was Gift love. That was the profile name and Heart injured was the profile pic. Saying Hi dear. My ex would say that our love was a gift so that's how I know it was her. Also I never got these ever in all the years on Facebook. Then my ex comes back and then I started to get them. Also I get calls now . Not everyday or week but a few times a month. Blocked calls on cel and house phone. No one there. This I never had before either. Since my ex ended things in Sept. Like u said too much of a coincedence.