Yay me

[atomic popsicles]

This is silly, I know, but I am so proud of me!

Wednesday my husband destroyed my kids' rooms. 9 holes in walls.

I FIXED THEM! EVEN THE CEILING!

Luckily, for the past 7 hours I have been angry and not sad.

[C.Stein]

I hope you didn't patch one of the holes with his head.    

[atomic popsicles]

Ha ha!:-)

Haven't seen him since, go to court Monday for 1 year restraining order.

I'm a little sad now. Time of day maybe?

[gotbushels]

Nice one atomic popsicles:)

Haha angry or sad it will move along and you can enjoy the protection of the restraining order:)

[sflearnignbpd]

Great job!

I still have a broken window, a few holes, wine on the ceiling, and other things to fix.  I need to take care of it tomorrow.  

[heartandwhole]

This is silly, I know, but I am so proud of me!

Wednesday my husband destroyed my kids' rooms. 9 holes in walls.

I FIXED THEM! EVEN THE CEILING!

Luckily, for the past 7 hours I have been angry and not sad.

I don't think it's silly at all. See how capable you are? Go atomic!  Let this be a symbol of how your healing will go.

[Hopeful83]

Great stuff! Well done! Isn't taking power back wonderful? 

[flourdust]

That's awesome! I bet the kids are happy about that.

[atomic popsicles]

I'm not so yay me now. I saw him. I caved and took some clothes to his mom's and he was there. I cried like a baby and was pathetically glad he was still wearing his ring. HOW CAN I LOVE SOMEONE WHO DID THIS? It's not like I can let him back, and I'm trying to reason with him.

And even more pathetic... .I actually wrote him and told him to get inpatient, get therapy, get clean and we can take it slow and see. What is WRONG with me? I miss the person he was so much, BPD and all. I am not sure how to go on.

To top it all off, he freaked and left/had to leave and where is he? Broke and on the streets or in a shelter.

I don't want this. I want to turn back time. I have to get it together.

[gotbushels]

It's okay to feel like wanting to "cave" atomic popsicles. I've been there:)

The acknowledgment step can still occur in stages 3, 4 and 5, so it's OK:) Try to avoid putting yourself in those situations. Something that might help you is set up one or two relaxing alternatives for yourself when you feel this thought or feeling come to you. These actions will help when you if you can't mentally coax them from your body.

You can do it. Seek strength:)