Do they ever miss us?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

 My ex and I had turn into cuddle buddies, after the break up, for a few weeks. Her words not mine. But instead of her always being at my house, I started going over some nights. Spend the night, cuddle, get up in the morning, gotup and both went to our respective jobs. That was less pressure and less time spent together. It eliminated most of the BS. But one a teenge cousin came from out of town to live with the ex, no more cuddling. I had an offer to still come over if I wanted , but I didm't think it was a good idea. when those 2 are together, its hard to know which is the adult. I knew I wouldn't feel comfortable so I Declined. The cuddling lasted about a month before her cousin came to town. Since the day the cousin came to live, my ex has gone NC. Miss me? I dont think they have the mental capacity to understand missing someone, unless they needs something. Btw, i was affectionate but not the most affectionate between the 2 of us.

[FallBack!Monster]

 My ex and I had turn into cuddle buddies, after the break up, for a few weeks. Her words not mine. But instead of her always being at my house, I started going over some nights. Spend the night, cuddle, get up in the morning, gotup and both went to our respective jobs. That was less pressure and less time spent together. It eliminated most of the BS. But one a teenge cousin came from out of town to live with the ex, no more cuddling. I had an offer to still come over if I wanted , but I didm't think it was a good idea. when those 2 are together, its hard to know which is the adult. I knew I wouldn't feel comfortable so I Declined. The cuddling lasted about a month before her cousin came to town. Since the day the cousin came to live, my ex has gone NC. Miss me? I dont think they have the mental capacity to understand missing someone, unless they needs something. Btw, i was affectionate but not the most affectionate between the 2 of us.

[Fr4nz]

Again, I have to dissent; my ex is a cut-off type, so once you're out, it is very likely that she won't contact you anymore - at least she claimed to be like this, and this is something that happened to other users of this forum; yet, she often reminded some of her past exes (let's say, the most important ones).

This is how my ex is/was/claimed to be also. I seriously doubt that I'll ever hear from her again. I've watched first hand what it's like for her to stop talking to someone that was once important to her. She has zero contact with her brother, cousins, aunt, and now no contact with her father. To my knowledge, she has zero contact with any of her exes, and she hated that I did. I didn't understand, at the time, how she could just discard people.

This is interesting, since it is well known that many pwBPD have huge issues when it comes to relationships with their relatives -- it makes sense anyway, since in most cases the disorder originates in dysfunctional familial environments.

For instance, my ex gf has a hate/love relationship with her mother, same with her sister (so much that my ex blocked her sister in FB few YEARS ago... the block is ongoing) and she's not talked with her father since 4 years ago (ongoing).

[Meili]

Yep Fr4nz, it should be a warning sign.

My x and I talked about how she would just be "done" with people. She thought that I was strange for still having any interaction with those who were no longer influential in my world. She even tried to get me to shun my daughter because she thought that her behavior was harmful to me.

What's interesting is that my x told me to research BPD with regard to my kidlette. It's sad to me how that worked out for her.

[Learning Fast]

I think pwBPD don't forget - sometimes even miss you, but probably you'll never know - especially if they shared with you a relevant amount of time or some "intense" experience.



I agree and believe that it comes back to the old adage---"pwBPD are consistently inconsistent".

Since we parted almost a year ago, my ex has traveled to the one location that we had our most intimate and memorable weekend---not once, but twice.  Of all the places in the States or beyond (she has the resources to travel anywhere) she returns to the location that I'm certain holds nothing but difficult memories---twice. The exact same hotel and destinations. 

That being said, I have yet to hear from her today (Father's Day in the State).  She has always wished me a Happy Father's Day in the past.  Go figure.

LF

[Leonis]

My ex and I had turn into cuddle buddies, after the break up, for a few weeks. Her words not mine. But instead of her always being at my house, I started going over some nights. Spend the night, cuddle, get up in the morning, gotup and both went to our respective jobs. That was less pressure and less time spent together. It eliminated most of the BS. But one a teenge cousin came from out of town to live with the ex, no more cuddling. I had an offer to still come over if I wanted , but I didm't think it was a good idea. when those 2 are together, its hard to know which is the adult. I knew I wouldn't feel comfortable so I Declined. The cuddling lasted about a month before her cousin came to town. Since the day the cousin came to live, my ex has gone NC. Miss me? I dont think they have the mental capacity to understand missing someone, unless they needs something. Btw, i was affectionate but not the most affectionate between the 2 of us.

My ex and I continued physical intimacy a month after the end of the breakup process. This past Wednesday, she made me dinner and we had a good time. Two days later, she told me over text that she wishes to go NC forever.

By this point, I'm just like whatever. It's just not worth it trying to figure out what's going on in their heads.

[FallBack!Monster]

My ex and I had turn into cuddle buddies, after the break up, for a few weeks. Her words not mine. But instead of her always being at my house, I started going over some nights. Spend the night, cuddle, get up in the morning, gotup and both went to our respective jobs. That was less pressure and less time spent together. It eliminated most of the BS. But one a teenge cousin came from out of town to live with the ex, no more cuddling. I had an offer to still come over if I wanted , but I didm't think it was a good idea. when those 2 are together, its hard to know which is the adult. I knew I wouldn't feel comfortable so I Declined. The cuddling lasted about a month before her cousin came to town. Since the day the cousin came to live, my ex has gone NC. Miss me? I dont think they have the mental capacity to understand missing someone, unless they needs something. Btw, i was affectionate but not the most affectionate between the 2 of us.

My ex and I continued physical intimacy a month after the end of the breakup process. This past Wednesday, she made me dinner and we had a good time. Two days later, she told me over text that she wishes to go NC forever.

By this point, I'm just like whatever. It's just not worth it trying to figure out what's going on in their heads.

I wish i was as strong as you are. I still want to do an experiment to see whats going on inside that confused mind. I wish i could sit inside that head, with a pad and a pen, taking notes. Then later come back out of that confusing head, before lightening finally strikes her and i really get hurt.  Then i can run and tell the experts what type of mess it was. which wires need to be added, replaced, which ones are missing all together, and if its even worth trying to fix that big broken head. 

[Leonis]

I wish i was as strong as you are. I still want to do an experiment to see whats going on inside that confused mind. I wish i could sit inside that head, with a pad and a pen, taking notes. Then later come back out of that confusing head, before lightening finally strikes her and i really get hurt.  Then i can run and tell the experts what type of mess it was. which wires need to be added, replaced, which ones are missing all together, and if its even worth trying to fix that big broken head. 

I don't think it's possible because they probably don't really know why they feel the why they do themselves.

[Meili]

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it painful and futile to even try to wonder if we are missed?

[Dhand77]

Again, I have to dissent; my ex is a cut-off type, so once you're out, it is very likely that she won't contact you anymore - at least she claimed to be like this, and this is something that happened to other users of this forum; yet, she often reminded some of her past exes (let's say, the most important ones).

This is how my ex is/was/claimed to be also. I seriously doubt that I'll ever hear from her again. I've watched first hand what it's like for her to stop talking to someone that was once important to her. She has zero contact with her brother, cousins, aunt, and now no contact with her father. To my knowledge, she has zero contact with any of her exes, and she hated that I did. I didn't understand, at the time, how she could just discard people.

This was my ex. She discarded her Mom, both of her sisters and her Aunt and Uncle. She talked trash about every single one of them, and was always confused by the fact that I remained friends with many of my exes. Gotta say, I do feel rather silly for thinking it wouldn't happen to me, after all, we were in love. Lol.

Sad thing is, under normal circumstances, I would have questioned all of this behavior. Her ability to turn her back on people is at an Olympic level. I should have known it would eventually happen to me.

[Mars22]

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it painful and futile to even try to wonder if we are missed?

I agree. I have found it only makes me long more her and perpetuates the ruminating. One thing, I'm really trying to stop at this point.

[Moselle]

I know my ex has moments of clarity from the nightmare. They were very rare in the end, and lasted for a few hours - perhaps once every 4 months.

In those moments, when she was the woman I feel in love with, I believe she does miss me.

For the rest of the time when she is tortured by her badness and darkness, I believe she missed my supply. In these times I don't believe she saw me as a human being with feelings and thoughts of my own, only a thing to be manipulated into doing what she wants.

Now that she has a replacement, I believe she sees me as a threat to her new enmeshment. I am someone to be eliminated/or annihilated. Will I let her do this... .no!

[Raspberry]

Apparently yes he does, he's gutted   :

[Raspberry]

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it painful and futile to even try to wonder if we are missed?

I agree. I have found it only makes me long more her and perpetuates the ruminating. One thing, I'm really trying to stop at this point.

Agree! I don't even want it to occupy space in my brain any longer x