After 6 months of NC she showed up at my door with an excuse that she heard that i was moving and she was upset that i didn't mean anything to her if i left without saying goodbye. obviously i am not going anywhere. stupid as i was i allowed her inside my apartment, and considering that this was the wors 6 months of my life and the stuff that i went thru i thought that it might give me some closure. we always had chemistry and we did end up sleeping together, she even spend the night. not knowing what i was doing at the moment and having a moment of weakness i didn't know how to feel the morning after. my house was a frinkin mess since i havent care much and she had known me as a clean freak. i mean can you blame a guy that locked himself inside for 5 months.
The next day in the evening she called me and after a while her friend called her somehow she put me on a three way without realizing it. of course curiosity killed the cat so i stayed quiet and listen. Boy oh boy what i heard. apparently her girlfriend had swinged by my house and saw her car so i heard more than i could handle. She was all day with on sunday with this guy and she spend the night on monday with me. she denied to her friends that she stayed over and slept with me but she came over to make sure that i didn't leave without saying goodbye. She was satisfied of my misery and she said the the apartment was a slum because she was the one cleaning it up
. when i was the one doing everything including her laundry because the princess doesn't know how to do it at the age of 30. i don't want to throw stones at her but it was a lie. She spoke about how she didn't give a cr@p about me and it was a mistake that she even stopped by. ( another lie) while the next day she kept texting and calling me like the 6 months didn't even happen. She was on the phone with me for two hour when her friend called her and i got thrown in the 3 way call.
When i asked her if she was seeing anyone that evening we slept together; she looked at me in the eyes and said no. yet another lie. So finding out that she was with another man and she was seeing another one on tuesday that hurt me. when i confronted her and told her what happened and that i heard the whole conversation she of course didn't take any responsibility for her actions but she brought some stuff from the past in order to avoid the cr@p that i caught her on today. She also denied all those things she said and kept on justifying the other sh*t that she talked about me. i felt so sad and felt so bad for her. She will never be happy and she will end up in really sh*tty situation. I know i shouldn't care but i do. I tried to talk some sense into her and that she has to stop hurting men and that it wasn't right to do this to me when she knows that i am in love with her and also not fair to the guy that she's seeing but of course i hit a dead end. she started to play the victim when i was trying to bring her up and tell her that she has so much good in her but she needs to change her ways and grow up. i tried to convince her that this insecurity and this need for approval comes from her childhood and her parents that i know and as i have researched a lot about this type of personalities and spend a ton of money on therapy, that i wanted to share this knowledge with her so she can be happy and stellar in her life but yet she was putting herself down and playing the victim so she wouldn't hold herself responsible for her actions.
I guess she did help me in a way by hurting me again. There was a moment of me questioning my insanity but now i see the silver lining, no one can change unless they want too. i was trying to tell her and explain that her actions have consequences and i would never do anything like to hurt her so why she would take that as a criticism when i was trying to tell that my feeling were hurt. Anything i said she would turn it into the victim and i got a pity sorry with "you need to stay away from because i am hurting you"
I guess i am writing this for those men/women out there and think that they are going insane, you are not insane, what you felt and saw was real and your brain will play tricks on you by remembering all the good stuff, it was a projection. This people are like those reptiles that will change colors to adapt but eventually the real color comes back. Again there is a reason that you are not together and as soon as you go back you will realize what you saw was there and all the stuff that you were afraid would happen and hurt you, they will happen and you will get hurt again. but i really hope you don't make this mistake i made even though in my case it might have helped. You are stronger and you have learned something from this so you will be able to pick this things up and recognize the signs. each day will make you stronger and yes of course you will be having more bad days than good but time will heal you. Keep up the good fight and learn from this forum because it is a great one, people share their stories here and they give good advice based on the experiences.
like i said i am hurt yet again but i think i will be able to move on now.
I got to be strong and not relapse again. if this happens to you stay strong and stay away.
