Received my STD results today.

[Dhand77]

I had to break NC, because she gave me Herpes Simplex-1.

Last summer, she had a sore pop up under her nose about a week after I got back from vacation. A week later, I ended up with a matching sore under my nose. Being the hypochondriac that I am, I was ready to run to the doctor. She assured me, nothing was wrong and that maybe it was impetigo since she works with children. Since I was taking antibiotics for a root canal, she said that taking the antibiotics should clear it up and I should be fine. Since she was my girlfriend and I trusted her, I took her word for it.

Flash forward to Monday morning, the sore returned. So I immediately went and had myself screened for STDs since she was the ONLY person I had unprotected intercourse with in the last 4 years. Lo and behold, I tested positive for herpes.

Minutes after I received my results via email, I saw her at lunch at our workplace. I immediately walked up to her and showed her the results. She instantly denied I got it from her. Claimed she just saw a doctor and was tested. So I asked her to bring in the results. She quickly changed the subject to "You're trying to start with me." and then walked away from me. Just wonderful. Her reaction gives me the vibe she already knew.

I am beyond livid.

So, I emailed her a copy of the results and implored her to get tested. I know I'll never see a copy of her results, I know she'll take no responsibility for giving me this. No apology. Nothing.

I didn't want to break contact, but I had to be responsible and inform her about this.

I swear, I hate this woman so much. I'll always have a constant reminder for the rest of my life of my relationship with a pwBPD. Just great.

So I implore EVERYONE, if your pwBPD cheated on you, go get tested, for your future partner's sake.

[atomic popsicles]

I'm so sorry. I'm getting checked out soon, too. I'm terrified. I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

[rfriesen]

In hindsight, it's amazing how gullible we can be, isn't it? A few months in with my ex, she told me I had given her chlamydia. I was so confused, because I hadn't had unprotected sex in almost a year before her and it really didn't seem possible to me that I could have given it to her. I let it slide, because it wasn't too serious a relationship yet, and I thought, "well, maybe she is the one who gave it to me but is too ashamed to acknowledge that possibility. It's not that big a deal, since we just started seeing each other." But we had to get the antibiotic treatment THREE times before we were finally clear! She was livid at me, screaming that I must be getting it from someone else and reinfecting her, and then she would break down in tears. Her rage and pain seemed so intense that I latched onto the fact that the antibiotics we took the first two times don't clear up 100% of infections. I worked so hard to convince her that I hadn't had sex with anyone else -- because, of course, I really hadn't! I kept telling her that the antibiotics must not have worked. How stupid in hindsight. But having never experienced a liar like her before, it just didn't cross my mind that someone could put on such a desperate mask and lie so crazily.

Oh, and how did she find out she had chlamydia in the first place? They screened her when she went for an abortion -- after she had told me I had gotten her pregnant. This was when she was still living with her fiancé and the timing meant I could only have gotten her pregnant on the very first weekend we were having sex. She swore to me that she hadn't had sex with her fiancé or anyone else in months, so it could only be mine. Of course, I can't be sure that's a lie, but ... .she turned out to be the biggest and most insane liar I've ever met! And, really, her telling me I got her pregnant and then me taking care of her through all of that ... .it's what made things take a serious turn with us. She ended her engagement then and latched onto me as her boyfriend ---- and it took me a year to recover my senses and see how manipulative and cold she really was.

God, it's got to be dark inside their minds ... .

[freemanstrut]

This is a huge fear of mine too.  My ex cheated, and I got tested and came back negative for everything, but the test did not test for HPV.  No symptoms showing, but I'm nervous about it.

[tryingsome]

I am sorry to hear about your test  results. It is hard to have some much trust in person.

I am actually surprised they tested for Herpes though, this is a test they don't usually don't run for STDs. The reason being HSV-2 is at 20% to 25%of the population and HSV-1 (Oral) is around 65%

85% of the people with Herpes do not actually know they have it. Anyone who has ever had a cold sore has HSV-1. Most people are exposed as children.

Why am I telling you this? Because it is a fact of life of most of the population. Don't worry too much about the stigma.

Find those who will be fine with you. Don't look for blame and move on. In all seriousness the pwBPD probably didn't even know.

[Dhand77]

More than anything, I mad about breaking No Contact. It's been 2 1/2 months and I see her almost everyday at work, so I was doing really good with the NC.

I'm fairly certain she knew. My friends and family feel the same way, even the more objective ones. It was her reaction. Denying it was the first words out of her mouth. Then she quickly changed the subject to "I was trying to start with her" and then something about "I was just going on some big thing about you today".

This woman has, hands down, become the worst girl friend I've ever had in my life. Will I EVER get an apology? Nope. Will she ever take responsibility for her part in the break up? Nope. Will she ever admit to all the times she cheated on me? Nope.

I'll never have to worry about remembering the good times, because she tainted them with all the bad, heinous, selfish, childish, spiteful, irresponsible behavior she has subjected me to the past 5 months.

[JerryRG]

I remember getting a tb test when starting a new job 2 years ago and it looked positive. I knew who to blame because my exgf said she shared needles with some of her friends during her meth use. I was so afraid and angry but it was a false positive thank god.

Red flag? Meth user, not red enough for this brilliant man

[jhkbuzz]

Saddest day post-b/u was the day I had to get tested for STD's. I'm so sorry, your situation is just awful.

[Leonis]

Karma has a strange way to get back at people. Your ex is probably one of the worst people out there.

[Dhand77]

Karma has a strange way to get back at people. Your ex is probably one of the worst people out there.

This is exactly what I've been discovering these past 5 months. She is absolutely not the person she led me to believe she was or I thought she was. She is hands down the WORST person I've ever had a relationship with.

In 4 years, I lied to her ONCE. And the one time I did lie, it was so I could run to a flower shop to surprise her with flowers. I've discovered that she has basically lied about EVERYTHING for 4 years.

What gets me, is how she got mad at me when I informed her of the test results, when the person who she should be mad at is the guy she was screwing around with last summer that gave this to her. I informed the two other women I dated before my pwBPD, and their reaction was very thankful and positive. My exBPDgf instantly denied it and tried changing the subject and then walked away.

Actions speak louder than words.

[rfriesen]

Actions speak louder than words.

A basic, but absolutely essential, lesson. One I had to learn the hard way and remind myself of continually. My ex could create so much emotional drama and spin everything so manically with her rage, defensiveness, tears, promises, pleas, ... .that I almost completely lost my hold on basic facts. For instance, that she screams, manipulates, cheated on all her exes (as she admitted, and I can only assume that she ultimately cheated on me too), engages in constant sexual innuendo with inappropriate people, drained my focus and energy, ... .

She could unleash a torrent of emotions and words to distract me from her actions and convince me they would change or weren't real ... .but nothing ever really changed except that I got more and more sucked into the emotional madness of it all.