I've thought about anonymously sending BPD material and a letter to my ex's parents. I decided it would be borderline harassment and inappropriate. They probably already know that she has issues. That's probably one of the reasons why they're so involved with the grandchild.
Blue, it sounds like your former mother-in-law understands your ex has issues. She also responded appropriately. I'm happy for you in that regard.
Thanks... .yes, they are very aware! His Father is more hopeful that he will get better. I sent them the walking on eggshells book a couple years ago. They weren't sure if that was the case. I think because they aren;t aware of some of the stuff he does, it didn't resonate. The problem is that allot of these books blame the parents and that is hard for someone to accept if they feel like they raised their child right. I would not do it if your ex does not have a diagnosis. Mine was diagnosed personality disorder, but not which one. I am even more convinced he is BPD after seeing him in court with that beard and that western belt on... .the mirroring behavior is amazing. It was like he was in-between two worlds. The dress pants and shirt he had from me when he was more conservative like his parents and now his country motif apparel matching his gf from the mountains- similar to he ex husband! They prefer to not focus on the bad anymore she told me a year ago. Its literally making them physically ill. She is worried about her husbands health and heart when it comes to him. They have to try and have peace. She told me that she wished peace for me and I had a chance to have a normal life , they would always have to deal with him. It's got to be heartbreaking for them.