A war has started in my family

[unicorn2014]

So today I go on Facebook and see my brother's girlfriend disparaging my father in public. I defend him and she goes all out ballistic on me. He doesn't like her because she inserted herself into our probate case and its none of her business.

Now she removed me, and her sister removed me, my brother yelled at me and her mother wants to hear no criticism of her daughter.

My father doesn't like her mother either.

My mother doesn't like her.

My mother says she tries to control my brother and she is right however he is an adult. He made the decision to be with her and be exploited that is also none of my business.

I can't believe this.

My head is spinning.

All because I couldn't send my father a father's day card I find this stuff on Facebook and go off on it.

In the end I still love my dad despite the fact he slandered me. I know he has a nasty tongue. He knows he has a nasty tongue. He thinks its funny and doesn't want to change. My dad's a narcissist and will never change. I have to accept this.

[Woolspinner2000]

Seems like it is never ending doesn't it, Unicorn? I'm truly so sorry.

It sounds like you try to avoid 'more drama' on Facebook overall.  I'm thankful because to me it says you are watching out for yourself. Unbelieveable stuff going on there from what you've said. My head is spinning too!   Talk about the drama triangle!

I recently had something similar if it helps you to feel not so alone. Someone in my household has left pages of notes out for me to read, and my curosity got the better of me and I read some of them.   I wish I hadn't but I did. Rather triggering and devaluing of me to say the least.  I think I shall avoid any further reading of any more that are left out for me to find. It sure stinks, doesn't it?

So some extra hugs for you today.   



Wools

[unicorn2014]

Seems like it is never ending doesn't it, Unicorn? I'm truly so sorry.

It sounds like you try to avoid 'more drama' on Facebook overall.   I'm thankful because to me it says you are watching out for yourself. Unbelieveable stuff going on there from what you've said. My head is spinning too!   Talk about the drama triangle!

I recently had something similar if it helps you to feel not so alone. Someone in my household has left pages of notes out for me to read, and my curosity got the better of me and I read some of them.   I wish I hadn't but I did. Rather triggering and devaluing of me to say the least.  I think I shall avoid any further reading of any more that are left out for me to find. It sure stinks, doesn't it?

So some extra hugs for you today.    



Wools

Thank you I blocked her, my brother and my partner on my phone today. My brother stirred stuff up with my partner too. Things are raging out of control like those wildfires down in New Mexico and I don't want to get torched. My daughter is recovering from surgery and I'm taking care of her so I don't need any extra problems.

I reached out to my parents but they are ignoring me.

Basically I am trying to separate from my FOO. My parents were in a common law marriage when I was born. My brother is in a common law marriage. I am trying to separate myself from my married boyfriend. My dad doesn't have a problem with my boyfriend's marriage my brother does but my brother is a hypocrite. My brother is a Catholic. He got baptized before he met his girlfriend. My brother attacked my religious beliefs today. I am shocked. He also justified his girlfriend verbally abusing him in front of my daughter. When I confronted him about that he told me to get a sense of humor. I told him it was inappropriate for her to talk to him that way in front of my daughter. Meanwhile I'm trying to get by day to day with my boyfriend who still has not filed for divorce after 4 years and my brother rubbed that in my face. It has not been a good day. My brother's girlfriend started this all by putting down my father on Facebook and instead of defending our father my brother defended her.

[drained1996]

I feel your pain Unicorn, as I've has plenty of family drama over the last year.  So much in fact, that I'm not sure my sisters will be in my life after my mother passes... .

I will ask, have you thought of simply dropping social media for a while?  Does it really do enough for you on a day to day basis to even put yourself in a situation to deal with the drama it can possibly bring?  I've pretty much dropped it since my exBPD used any little notion of anything she might not like on there to start something... .and quite frankly, I miss nothing I got there.  Just food for thought. 

[unicorn2014]

I feel your pain Unicorn, as I've has plenty of family drama over the last year.  So much in fact, that I'm not sure my sisters will be in my life after my mother passes... .

I will ask, have you thought of simply dropping social media for a while?  Does it really do enough for you on a day to day basis to even put yourself in a situation to deal with the drama it can possibly bring?  I've pretty much dropped it since my exBPD used any little notion of anything she might not like on there to start something... .and quite frankly, I miss nothing I got there.  Just food for thought. 

My brother's girlfriend unfriended me so the drama is gone. I use social media to connect to my job coach and follow mental health and gardening accounts. I'm not going to throw out the baby with the bathwater.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Sounds like you made a wise choice to unfriend some family members and just use Facebook for job coach, mental health and gardening accounts.   Drained1996 brought up some good points.  I don't connect with anything on Facebook other than some businesses and Civic pages. 

Technology has made it too easy for people to spontaneously post inappropriate things, without a thought.   Doing things to make our lives simpler is worth it.  My Therapist indicates she gets a lot of clients that have Facebook problems with family/friends.  Guess Facebook is good for the therapy business.

[unicorn2014]

Sounds like you made a wise choice to unfriend some family members and just use Facebook for job coach, mental health and gardening accounts.   Drained1996 brought up some good points.  I don't connect with anything on Facebook other than some businesses and Civic pages. 

Technology has made it too easy for people to spontaneously post inappropriate things, without a thought.   Doing things to make our lives simpler is worth it.  My Therapist indicates she gets a lot of clients that have Facebook problems with family/friends.  Guess Facebook is good for the therapy business.

She and one of her sisters unfriended me. I didn't unfriend her or her sister. I know I had my own borderline behavior on Facebook years ago removing  people so I suppose I should tolerate my brother's girlfriend and her sister's borderline behavior.