Cut ties with my Mother

[Palmala]

Hi.  My mother has BPD. She wasn't formally diagnosed but my sister and I have done research and I'm pretty sure this is what she suffers from. Also, a close family member who is Dr. agrees with our opinion.  I just finished reading the book, Understanding the Borderline Mother, and it was like someone wrote a book about my life.  I cut ties with her almost 2 years now,  and no regrets, however there are some extended family events that are coming up and I'm terrified of running into her but also don't want  that relationship dictate if I go or not.

[Naughty Nibbler]

HEY Palmala :  

Welcome to BPD Family!

The book, "Stop Walking on Egg Shells", was the book that enlightened me.  The BPD in my life is my uBPD sis and I've been virtually NC with her for the last 8 months.

I can understand how uncomfortable it might be for you to have to mingle with your mom at the upcoming events.  

Can you share some examples of your mom's BPD behavior?

What do you fear the most about seeing your mom again?  

You are very wise to prepare in advance.  I like the logic of planning for the worst and hoping for the best.  I've entered links below to some helpful information that will likely help you with some skills.  

Here is a link to a thread about boundaries:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.0

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.0

COMMUNICATIONS OVERVIEW

   https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=69272.0

MEDIUM CHILL

Here is a link to an interesting technique to read about - Medium Chill

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=114204.0

[Turkish]

Hi Palmela,

I'd like to join Naughty Nibbler in welcoming you here.  

Two years with no contact may have given space,  but it still sounds like you're very concerned about meeting again.  If you've read UTBM, which mother type best describes her?  What specifically resulted in you going NC? What do you fear the most?

Turkish