I'm actually on the detaching board as I ended it, but he contacted me and at first I thought he wanted to talk, but it deteriorated badly and it seems that what he wanted was to offload some negativity onto me.
I'm afraid I've might have made everything worse. This is the conversation. Can anyone advise me? Did I make things worse?
This is my post:
My ex made contact last night. At first I thought that he was missing me and maybe, just maybe, wanted to talk. However, it’s become increasingly clear that what he wants is to offload onto me and make me suffer. I am a narcissist, a cheat, a liar who lacks integrity, all confirmed by others apparently, my therapist is a nut job, a snake, I’m unsupportive and to blame for everything. On and on. Same old. Some of it was delusional and I posted about it last night and it has carried over to this morning (if interested
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=295502.0).
He’s now gone completely off his tree.
These are the last few messages because I’ve now turned my phone off. I have a sick feeling in my stomach, my heart is racing and it’s my own stupid fault.
Him: “You didn’t love me. No one who loves someone drops them at the hospital very unwell then finishes with them while they are there. Keeps clandestine relationships with other men and involves them in the relationship. Lies to the person over and over again. Finishes with them every week so that they became an emotional wreck. Insights them with a host of psychological problems. That isn’t love. It’s not love I recognize”.
Me: “If you truly believe all of that please stop contacting me. It’s not who I am at all. None of it. It’s extremely hurtful and damaging”.
Him: “I will stop contacting you but it is true”
Me: “It’s very sad that you feel the need to inflict pain on another human being like this. What does it say about you? Do you feel better now? Offloading some of that negativity? Some of that hatred? I’m not going to reciprocate. Just going to look forward to the future knowing that I am a truly compassionate, wonderful person. I hope you get to feel the same about yourself one day”
Him: “He thinks you are truly evil, I think you’re a narcissist…… that’s normal to you”
Him: “It was the abuse hotline J put me in touch with checking I’m alright when it was the man you were keeping in touch with and lying to me about”.
He’s completely lost the plot. He’s taken parts of our previous past (ages, months/year ago) conversations and twisted them!
I don’t understand this at all.
To protect myself I’ve turned the phone off. Now to calm down. WTH!
Did I handle this badly?