Baby girl is here

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

My daughter been has born and mother(exBPD)  has started trying to control me already. Mother wanted me to sign birth certificate and I refused as mother wants child to have her last name. I text mother today to see when I could one see baby and mom sent me a text saying. As soon as you sign birth certificate as is I will allow you to see your daughter again! I'm beyond pissed because not only is my exBPD trying to blackmail me into paternity/ being ok with her last name, shes trying to alienate the child if I don't do as my exBPD wishes...

[drummerboy5]

My daughter been has born and mother(exBPD)  has started trying to control me already. Mother wanted me to sign birth certificate and I refused as mother wants child to have her last name. I text mother today to see when I could one see baby and mom sent me a text saying. As soon as you sign birth certificate as is I will allow you to see your daughter again! I'm beyond pissed because not only is my exBPD trying to blackmail me into paternity/ being ok with her last name, shes trying to alienate the child if I don't do as my exBPD wishes...

[hope2727]

I am so, so sorry. What should be a glorious, joyous event has been marred by your ex's illness. I wish I could give you a hugs and a celebratory woo hoo. So the best I can do is congratulations.

Now on to some hard truths. This is the beginning of a long journey. That text you got about signing in order to see your daughter is a GIFT! I know it may not seem like it but it is. Screen shot it and email it to a secret new account immediately. Then print the screen shot in triplicate and start 3 binders. Eventually in discovery for your eventual custody hearing you will hand one binder to your lawyer one to your ex's and keep one for yourself. The secret email account is a backup just in case.  This is the begining of the battle for your daughter's well being. So dad put on your armour, gather all your rations and bannermen about you and prepare for the long siege. (Sorry having a Game of Thrones moment.)

But seriously its true. Its the best advice I ever got or took. Communicate only by email or text if you must but never by phone. That way there is always a record. Start a bound journal. Not a coil ring thing that pages can be pulled out of but something like a hard cover black accountants book. Every day make an entry in black or blue ink that starts with the date, states only the facts and ends with your initials. Include a time of day if you think it may be relevant.  IE July1st, 2016 (10:20 AM)  Ex's name insists I sign birth certificate with her last name "Smith" not mine "Brown" or some hyphenated version therefore I decline to sign." Initials or signature. This Journal can be used as evidence if it is impeccable (my lawyers words) must always state only facts not feelings, have date and signature, be written in blue or black ink. Also print screen shots of texts and print emails and tape them in journal under each appropriate entry and then sign across the edge of the clear tape to prove it wasn't tampered with. Was some of the best advice I have ever followed. IE: July 2nd, 2016 texted Ex's name to inquire when I could see "baby's name". Ex's name responded that I would only be allowed to see baby when I signed birth certificate with ex's last name. See attached copy of text exchange. Initial or sign

[Then print a screen shot of the text. Tape all 4 sides into the journal. Initial the tape on all 4 sides across the tape edge and onto the paper so its obvious that it hasn't been removed and replaced or something.]

Ok so it sounds like a huge amount of work but it really isn't and untruth it will save your ass many times. A series of verifiable documents will nail a disordered person to the wall in court when they get caught in their own lies. If you never need it you have learned to be a good record keeper. If you do you will be glad you started today.

In the binders have divisions for texts and email exchanges, financial records of all kinds. Receipts entered with tape and signed (she will make you prove your income and expenses so be prepared) and any other documents you can think of. Anything that proves your whereabouts or income or expenses or parentage etc. She can't accuse you of assault if you can PROVE you were somewhere else at the time with a time and date stamped receipt. I know it sounds crazy but ... .well... .the whole situation really is.

Ok so enough harsh advice. Have a cyber hug and know that you are a dad now. That is an amazing thing. Even in the worst of circumstances that is an amazing thing. Congratulations.         

[drummerboy5]

Thanks for the advice and I've got everything backed up in multiple places! I have won custody of another child so my game is strong at this point

[seenr]

Congratulations on the birth!

I hope from here forward you get enough time with this child as it sounds like this child needs you.

Thanks for the advice and I've got everything backed up in multiple places! I have won custody of another child so my game is strong at this point

[drummerboy5]

Congratulations on the birth!

I hope from here forward you get enough time with this child as it sounds like this child needs you.

Thanks for the advice and I've got everything backed up in multiple places! I have won custody of another child so my game is strong at this point

thank you! I'm hiring an attorney after 4th and filing an ER motion for custody as I can now prove mother will hold child against me for not doing as she wishes/alienation... I have some many text and emails with threats,blackmail attempts and verbal abuse.

[JerryRG]

Congratulations drummerboy5

Keep fighting for your daughter, it isn't easy but she's worth it!

[drummerboy5]

Congratulations drummerboy5

Keep fighting for your daughter, it isn't easy but she's worth it!

thank buddy and I will fight now that my exBPD gave me the key piece of evidence to show she'll alienate child from me!

[JerryRG]

My exgf told me the day my son was born she didn't love me anymore and I asked why and she told me she would find a daddy for him. Very mean of her, i think she thought our son was all she needed after he was born. It hurt me bad, I didn't understand BPD then, I do now

[drummerboy5]

My exgf told me the day my son was born she didn't love me anymore and I asked why and she told me she would find a daddy for him. Very mean of her, i think she thought our son was all she needed after he was born. It hurt me bad, I didn't understand BPD then, I do now

Jerry. My exBPD said I was a pos and she would find a better farther for our daughter while prego... My exBPD is seriously out of control since becoming prego and if I give her enough rope she'll hang herself in court. I'm building my case as we speak and I'm going to save my child from Satan! A mother already using a 3day old baby against the father is sick and she will go down in court!

[JerryRG]

No mercy when it comes to the well-being of a child

I hear you and soon the judge will too.

[Turkish]

Has paternity been legally established?  That's another form.  If not,  what's your plan?

[drummerboy5]

Has paternity been legally established?  That's another form.  If not,  what's your plan?

I went to hospital stayed a night to help with baby. Mom stated in on me so I left to avoid any conflict that could upset baby. Ex wanted me to sign birth certificate. I read certificate and my ex listed her last name as child's last name... I did not want to sign it as I do not agree with last name... I text my ex asking when I could come back to see baby and ex sent a photo of birth certificate and said, once you sign as is( with her last name) and initial parternity consent I will allow you to see your daughter again. I'm glad she text me that because that's emotional blackmail and alienation and I have proof now!

The only way for me to see my daughter in hospital was to sign... Where I live signing birth certificate gives the father legal rights, visitation and also I have a one year loop hole if I question paternity. I can get a DNA test and if it comes back I'm not the father with in first year I can get out of support... As to prove paternity fraud in my state all I need is the mother telling others I'm the father and having proof she told me I'm the father.

I will consult with an attorney next week to show all over my text and emails of threats, blackmail and verbal/emotional abuse... I also have text talking about her alcohol addictions which I'm going to request she does random ua along with hair testing... .