It was a horrible experience all around.
I know most of you know my story. But I'm here to tell you what happened when I got even with him. Please don't judge me. He wasn't just a BPD, he was also NPD and ASPD and he went into the priesthood to live this deceptive life and feed his ego at the same time. While having the church support him financially . He deserves to be outted. He was using religion to victimize women. He was at my church for the summer of 2012. He was a young handsome guy. I thought he was such a good humble man. I never talked to him outside of church then. But he was my spiritual director. So he learned my Insecurties and low self esteem issues. Fast forward two years later.
He reached out over Facebook to meet for coffee to catch up. It was innocent. But he began texting me back and fourth. Usually corny clean jokes or small talk. But then we hung out a few more times. He hung out with lots of girls . But he made it seem very platonic . Then we kissed and I was so upset but he told me he was praying on leaving the priesthood for over a year and a half. He wanted to be a dad... Blah blah... .
So this guy I admired and looked up to. I thought he gave so much to God and the church. He proclaimed strong morals and values. Said he was so faithful and loyal. He seemed that way. He was so over the top smothering I couldn't hardly take it, I was with him everyday . And yes he made me feel like I was perfect . Telling me my body and face was amazing. That was so funny and cool. Even going to the grocery store was fun with him. He wanted all my time. When we would eat out. Half way through the meal he'd ask to come sit next to me instead of across fro me. We went on 5 major week long vacations and so many weekend trips to philly, AC and NYC. There was never a dull moment. He was literally with me everyday! So I couldn't believe at the end he was serial cheating!
I over looked the red flags because I thought he lost his 20's to the priesthood . I thought he has asperbergers. He was socially a little awkward which only made him seem more innocent and not knowing the ways of secular life. He had no friends and I thought it was because he left the priesthood and he wanted to leave those friends behind because he said that. It made sense at the time. But then he started to put me down, criticize me and he called me stupid and retarded . I should of left at these things but he would cry hysterically if I mentioned leaving and that he'd change. Sometime when we fought he would say let's take 4 days off. Now I realize he was dating those days. I realize now any day I wasn't with him he was with someone else. He couldn't even spend one night alone. I realize he was molested . There were too many signs to ignore that.
He was a horrible lover. Which is strange because people proclaim them to be so great! I didn't get any of that. Even his other ex thought he was vanilla in bed. Has any one else experienced that? He liked sex a lot. He was definitely addicted to it. But didn't do any four play. I caught him twice with viagra. He claimed it was his step dads and he was bringing it to his brother. Why did I believe that? He would pray the rosary daily with me. Take me to mass weekly. Made sure we never miss. And took me to shrines and religious stores .
He physically would throw water bottles at me when raging, caused me a rotator cuff tear when I was pushed to the ground. And spit in my face. He then slandered my business when we broke up and I dropped him off my cell phone bill . I did that bc he went down to Disney and my data went up so high. I had no idea he went there with his other girlfriend . He then made me loss my gym membership because he signed us up for it on his his credit card. I paid our cell bill that month and it was suppose to be an even swap.
I paid for everything the first four months we dated because he didn't find a job right away. I bought us $350 nice hotels, a trip to CO which was 4K. I forgave a $1500 loan. I wanted to give him nice things because I admired all he did with his life and wanted to make up for his lost years . But he was fooling around all of his priesthood years . When it all came out.
I found him posted on a cheating website by a former ex. So then I posted him and outted him and what he did as a priest and I did mention he was a BPD and ASPD. I wanted to warn others because honestly finding that website with the alias name he gave his other ex and obliviously he gave his fake name while he was an active priest .
He slander me and my business first . And I don't care . If I had the choice I would do it again. The website either linked to other ones or someone copied and pasted what I wrote. He is still up on about 12 websites . He tried to sue me and my lawyer counter with our own suit . They backed off. He is disgusting and I'm glad it's up. I talked to a couple of his other ex's and they felt he uses religion too to make himself appear safe. He is no longer working as a teacher which I think is great! He was calling the small child (k to 5th) idiots and Morons. He yelled at them. And he was working in a poor inner city district. I have no clue to what he could be doing now for work. I'm sure he maxed out his credit cards because I'm not there to pay for him. I don't feel bad at all. He talked so much sh*t about me, and he was always like that about even his own family members. He's not a good person. And one day he will have to face God for his lies and machinations . Maybe this will actually be a blessing for him. Maybe he will have to get medical assistance. His family lies and enables his lifestyle. They are causing more harm than good. If he gets help then in 10 years maybe he can get a "normal" life. As much as I'm so disgusted by him. I think he deserves a real life. And at some point he may have no other option but to surrender and get that help. But that's on him. I'm sure he will hate me forever.
