Hello from an Old-Timer with New Info

[tryintogetby]

Hi everyone.
This forum was my lifeline for many years. <3 I now have four kids, am still happily married, and am the daughter of a NPD/BPD couple. (Yes, those of us who grew up in that environement can survive, learn healthy relationship patterns, and recover, despite the  )   

For the last four years, I've been working specifically on the ADHD issues in my family, because myself, my husband, and two of my four kids have been officially diagnosed.  ADHD is *really, really, REALLY* mis-represented in the media, so I had no idea how badly it was affecting our family and relationships.  I made contact with an ADHD author who's book actually saved our marriage, and made some interesting discoveries about how **untreated** ADHD can be related to both BPD and NPD.  Seriously.

Here's an article I wrote on her website about the changes that ADHD treatment made in my family, when I was worried that my own daughter was also showing narcissistic tendencies. (Gosh, can you imagine how triggering this was for me? Seeing my daughter become a little reflection of my NPD dad? It was horrifying.) www.adhdrollercoaster.org/adhd-and-relationships/was-i-raising-a-narcissist/ 

I also wrote the "book club" series on the same blog. 

I came back to share this with you all here, because there is some research to show that BPD **can be** (isn't always! but can be!) a result of untreated ADHD + trauma. Girls and women w/ ADHD also go un-treated more often.  I don't remember seeing anyone here post about stimulant medication trials with BPD/NPD family members, so I just had to share this.  You guys were my life-line, and I don't know if I could have made it through my own PTSD issues without your help, so I had to come back and tell you all that there may be hope either 1) for your BPD, or 2) to KEEP from passing BPD to yourself or your own kids, if you recognize ADHD early, and get proper treatment.  The patient will be much more equipped to HANDLE trauma, and may not develop a personality disorder.   

ALSO, on another note:  I met a woman who's daughter was diagnosed with BPD, but a smart neurologist saw *something* (I don't know what!) and ordered a 24-hour sleep study.  It turned out the BPD daughter was having mini-strokes, less than 2 seconds long, every minute.  Once meds were started for the strokes, the BPD symptoms disappeared.   

I'M STILL NO-CONTACT WITH MY PARENTS.  They "don't believe" in ADHD, and don't think there's anything wrong with them.  However, I may have stopped the cycle in my own kids. 

Let me know what you think. 
Sincerely,
TTGB, or "Taylor J"







 

[Harri]

Hi there!  Thanks so much for posting.  I've often wondered if I have ADHD in addition to c-PTSD (or instead of) so I was very interested to read your post and then your article.  Wonderful information.  I will be seeing my psychiatrist on Friday for a med check and I plan to ask her about this.  An evaluation can't hurt can it?  She had me on an SSRI that is supposed to help with PTSD and anxiety and it worked too well.  It made me lose focus, desire to thrive and my twinkle!  So I stopped it a few months ago without telling anyone (I was careful and stupid... .I do not recommend this).  I feel much better, but I know I need some help too.

So anyway, thanks for coming back and doing an update and for the info on ADHD.  I loved reading about your firecracker too!  So glad you got her help.  It hurt to read about her frustration but it was wonderful to read about how her true spirit was able to come through.  Wonderful!

thanks again.

[HappyChappy]

I'M STILL NO-CONTACT WITH MY PARENTS.  They "don't believe" in ADHD, and don't think there's anything wrong with them.  However, I may have stopped the cycle in my own kids.

Hi Tryintogetby,

So glad you posted. So pleased things have worked out well for you.  My son was placed on the ADHD scale and placed in “sitting still” classes. He graduated without any treatment, you need to be over 2 years behind at school to get support. In my country, the NHS has severe financial constraints, so learning difficulties are chiefly ignored for financial reasons. I’m statemented dyslexic but never had help or support (beyond the diagnosis)  as schools didn’t/don’t  have the funding.

However our situations do appear similar, in that I have C-PTSD and a BPD/NPD comb when I was brought up. My son would trigger me all the time, such that I had to hide from him and I’m normally the type to manage situations rather than hide. But since getting treatment for the C-PTSD that’s under control. But he has no empathy, lots of histrionic BPD behaviour, but he’s still young and they won’t diagnose on the state until much older.

But  anything I can do to help him, I will. Do you have any  good empirical proof, reports you can link me into ? My wife is sceptical also, as ADHD isn’t a big topic as yet, mainly because the NHS wants to talk it down as they don’t have the money to support it. So any tips advice etc... would help. Even with BPD , my NHS Therapist knew very little about it. My first T told me she’d never heard of it. So if you know of any treatment programs accessible to the UK (online etc... ) let me know. Thanks.

[waybird]

Good to see you here, Tryingtogetby!

I remember you from years ago.  Oddly, I just returned here as well. 
Glad to see you are still no contact with your parents. That always seems to be the best policy.

waybird