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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Broke NC and discovered I have no influence at all anymore...  (Read 490 times)
Herodias
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1787


« on: July 10, 2016, 10:19:26 AM »

I want to admit here that I broke nc to ask him not to contact my attorney anymore. I asked him once again to pay me the money he owes me through pay pal which is quicker than how he was paying... .He has not complied and is now officially late paying me. I also made sure he has my email address since he asked my lawyer for it. He never used it before so I realize it is all a game. Probably wants to use this is a way to pretend he can't pay me.  I told him this is all costing too much money and I cannot afford to keep paying for him to ask my attorney questions, that he can have his attorney ask me personally and not go through her for things that do not pertain to the case. I see a future of him asking questions and playing games. He can pay for his games,not me. Of course he didn't respond, which at least he is not filing harassment charges on me, so far! Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)  I am painted black I suppose. Which leaves me to see that I have absolutely no affect on him anymore. I remember the parents saying that after I became involved with him, they felt they no longer had an influence on him. It is interesting how they seem to only "trust" the person they are with... .good or bad, that is really sad actually... .considering the source he has now! It bothered me that he did not respond yesterday, but today I am fine with it. Just wanted to be honest here and let you know what happened... .nothing.
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seenr
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 229


« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2016, 10:22:29 AM »

I know in the past I haven't been in contact with my ex and when she did contact me I took 1-2 days to respond.

He may respond yet?
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Herodias
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1787


« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2016, 10:36:05 AM »

I suppose... .I think we were all delusional that we had any influence at all! Really, if we did he wouldn't have done all that he did! I also told him that I was asking my lawyer not to respond to him... .not anything against him... .just that I couldn't afford his questions. I also said at the end of the note... ."Hope you are doing well" which is his fake friendly comment... .Laugh out loud (click to insert in post) Wanted to come across as being nice, like him  
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Indifferent28
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 159


« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2016, 02:20:32 PM »

It seems whoever they're currently with is "their world" and really the only person they can base everything off of. What their partner does, they do. They're influenced because they have no individuality in themselves to make their own decisions.
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