None of this can happen

[Sadly]

I feel my leaden heart is torn and broken
My face is wet and sore and hot with salt
My pain as deep as any living ocean
It doesn't matter that it's not my fault.

I want to feel my lover lie against me
And tell me how I make his world complete
I never did but oh how much I tried to
This love now lies in ashes at my feet

I want to soothe his pain and anger from him
To kick his father straight to bullies hell
To make the bad things in his brain not matter
To love and cherish him until he's well

To turn back time and make his world a good one
And fight his corner when he was a child
To break away the gripping chains that bind him
To meet tomorrow loved and reconciled

I want to feel my mothers arms around me
The comfort of her soft and gentle breast
She never did but I know now that she would do
And kiss me as she tucked me in to rest.

This loneliness is killing me so softly
I ache with pain and grief, it will not leave
I don't know how to deal with this God help me
Of course he won't cos I do not believe.

IT CAN'T HAPPEN

I need to make it through another night now.

Love from Sadly xx

[Wize]

Beautiful, heartfelt poem.  I'm really glad you shared that with us.  I also pray that one day you will believe, just like I do.  

[seenr]

I hope that poem has helped you.

I have just spent an hour writing notes for a counselling session this week and I feel better. Many here say journaling is good. So I hope your pain is lessened before you sleep.

Sleep well :-)

[woundedPhoenix]

I want to feel my lover lie against me
And tell me how I make his world complete
I never did but oh how much I tried to
This love now lies in ashes at my feet

Hey Sadly, i think these 4 lines are actually the most sad of all.

It's the cruel notion that the harder we tried to make them happy, the more it seemed to fail... .

[Sadly]

I can't Wize, I want to but I can't, am glad for those that can though.
 
Was full of misery to bursting and it all came out. I used to write when I was a child, thank you  Seenr I hope you sleep well too

xx

[Sadly]

I know Wounded, I didn't try hard it all just came out, I think that verse speaks for many of us. Xx

[JerryRG]

Beautiful poem Sadly

I couldn't read it all because it is "too" good

I'm writing a list of all the people, family, friends, counselors, doctors, lawyers, therapist, her family, her friends, pastors, sponsors, police, psychologist, social workers... .All the people who told me to RUN FROM my exgf. And a brief quote of the exact thing/things they warned me about.

It will take time but it will ground me in facts that my heart cannot deny.

[Sadly]

Thank you Jerry. Well done btw with your strength of purpose and the way you fight for your boy   x

[JerryRG]

You're welcome Sadly  

Feel better soon!

It's a lot of memory work and some of it is painful and humiliating but I need to do this for me. Was going to start last night but put it off.

Your poem brought me back to where my heart is/was for so long.

[Sadly]

Cheer Jerry, Will try and will try write you one that will make you smile

[JerryRG]

You have natural talent, I wrote one last night but compared to yours it's so lame,

[Sadly]

Nothing's lame if it comes from the heart mate. X

[Wize]

Your writing shows a great understanding and acceptance of what you have been through.  Being able to search what you're feeling and then express it as you've done in this thread will move you forward towards healing. I promise you, Sadly, as someone who was in deep pain last week, the pain begins to dull.  Your pain will ease.  Please keep writing these poems and please continue sharing them with us.  They help me. 

[Sadly]

Thanks Wize, this is so heartening to read. Am glad your this week is better than last, here's hoping for me too then. I have written another one on my post  (not good right now) but it's rather different than this one for Jerry. I am trying to explain the stages I have lately been through. Thank you so much for your encouragement. Good healing   x