The shock in realizing - it was just a Fantasy..

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Take your lil suitcase of resentment and confusion and run for the hills!  

Wow - I see what you mean. That would be painful because, well - it's how exactly you'd want them to be. And in that moment, all is finally well. They get it! You're finally heard... I can see the pain now involved in walking away from that. It's like, that glimmer of hope that STILL causes the attachment.

The grass is greener as they say.

Thank you for giving me perspective... I'm not sure now which is worse.

[Mars22]

Take your lil suitcase of resentment and confusion and run for the hills!  

Wow - I see what you mean. That would be painful because, well - it's how exactly you'd want them to be. And in that moment, all is finally well. They get it! You're finally heard... I can see the pain now involved in walking away from that. It's like, that glimmer of hope that STILL causes the attachment.

The grass is greener as they say.

Thank you for giving me perspective... I'm not sure now which is worse.

[DreamerGirl]

Mars22,

Detaching from the fantasy is a challenge.  This has been something to really test  me... .I had believed the fantasy, the fake future and all my dreams with him happening.  So when the rug is pulled out from beneath us, without respect or warning, this is a shock and our brain cannot comprehend it. That's because we are normal feeling humans who wouldn't treat anyone this disgracefully, without emotion.

[Mars22]

we are normal feeling humans who wouldn't treat anyone this disgracefully, without emotion  

That's really it Dreamgirl. The shock from the sudden break up, coupled with the PTS of handling the fallout and realizing it wasn't 'real'... and the shock of that relaxation hits again too... its what Mountaineers call, a false summit. You think you made it to the top of the mountain but, as you come up over the crest, you see that you still have more of the mountain to climb...

We are normal feeling humans and I have to keep reminding myself of that...

[zonnebloem]

 

Thank you Meilli,

It feels like a waste of time to think about my ex.
I still do ... .the red rose he left at my doorstep (just over a week ago) is still the silent witness of the love we shared.
He wrote a message that he still loves me and he does his very best to forget about it. Every day he "strangles it" and when our love is "cold as the night" he might get back in touch.
It is so pailfull to think about him and to feel the struggle and the pain.
Pain is what I feel.

I now must put myself in the first place and think about me, myself, I.
I feel pain.
Esp. since I met a Frenchmen whom I spend 2 day with and who is wellwilling to treat me with respect and joy.
I feel fear.
The fear of loving.