I've been in a long abusive situation

[Wrath]

I'm new and not sure how this works or why I'm even on here. I know knowledge is power and the more I learn what I'm dealing with I might heal. But I fear my life is in danger no one believes me and I'm starting to give up . I'm sorry I don't want anyone to think I'm going to hurt myself or anything I don't know what I'm saying as u can see I've been in a long abusive situation.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[dacoming]

If you are being abused, please get out of the situation!  You may need to sneak out if it's that volatile.  Do you have family support?

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Wrath:  

I'm so sorry that you have a reason to be here, but you will find that this is a safe place where you can discuss the specifics of what is going on in you life.

Can you share some details?  I think you will find listening ears here.  People who have never dealt with anyone with a personality disorder before, might not understand your situation.  Everyone here is dealing with someone in their life that exhibits behavior of a personality disorder, so you will find understanding.

What is it that is making you feel unsafe at the moment?  Your title, "I fear I will never get away alive" is rather alarming.  I read it as a cry for help.  How can we help you?
 
The link below can give you some information about staying safe.
SAFETY FIRST- CLICK HERE

Sharing your story can be the first step in getting support for what you are dealing with.  We look forward to hearing more from you. 

[Meili]

Hey Wrath. 

It sounds like you've been dealing with all of this for quite some time. How long have you been in relationship?

I too was unsure when I started posting here. It seemed somewhat silly to vent about what I was experiencing to strangers on the internet. I quickly found it liberating and a great place to release the stress I felt from my situation. I hope that you find it cathartic as well. Can you tell us more about what has been going on, and what you've been dealing with?

If you're not ready to do that yet, if I may suggest, read the threads of others that have been posting here. You may find out rather quickly that you're now around others who understand because we've been in similar situations. I can tell you that we'll all believe you because we've either experienced, or have experienced something close. You are not alone.

[Lilyroze]

  Wrath,

  Sorry for what you are going through. Here is some of a cross thread posted elsewhere. I feel you might possibly need this as well, maybe? Use what you can, and know people here care, you are supported. There is some great articles, posters, posters and book recommendations that might.

Is there more of your story you can share? How about support? You say no one believes you, what do you mean by that?
Here is post to you as well:

I am glad you have this board and thread to sort your feelings. I just want to gently remind you that the stages you are going through might be slightly different then others, and you are doing a good job seeing that. Many who don't experience don't understand it. You do and are getting through it wise one.

Battered woman's syndrome is an extremely detrimental psychological condition that effects women who are subjected to repeated abuse and violence. This syndrome helps to explain why women stay in abusive relationships and do not seek assistance for their harmful situation. There a various stages that an individual who is suffering from this condition will experience.

First stage of battered women's syndrome is denial. Denial occurs when a victim of abuse is unable to admit and acknowledge that they are being subjected to domestic violence. During this stage, a victim of intimate partner abuse will not only avoid admitting the abuse to their friends and their family members, but they themselves will not acknowledge the brutality that they are suffering from. They will fail to recognize that there are any problems between themselves and their partner. There are multiple factors that may contribute to a victim's unwavering denial.  Which you are now addressing.


 Denial is not a fun place to be kind of like quicksand and the giraffe. 

Though next stage is guilt, which I can tell you are feeling. Seems like you have done a lot to hold your family and children together. I commend you with the jobs, the children all you are doing. You are stronger and wiser then you realize.

The next stage is enlightenment. If I might ask do you think you might be in that stage by any chance?
One of the most important phases of the battered women's syndrome is enlightenment. This occurs when a victim of abuse recognizes that they are not to blame for the abuse that they are experiencing. They will begin to understand that no one deserves to be subjected to domestic violence no matter what characteristics they posses. The fact that an offender does not approve of their victim's behavior does not justify subjecting the victim to abuse and violence.

Last stage is responsibility. Which seems like the little voice and you are mulling over. Where you are at, what you are feeling, how you got there, what you might have ignored. Now maybe what you want to do about it.

It is essential that individuals who have decided to escape their detrimental situation ensure that they are safe and secure. Women are in the most danger when they make the decision to flee their current environment. So maybe the voice and you have been examining things seeing how you can make better. Which you have with your jobs, being the stable on for the kids. IF by chance you decide you want a change is there more counseling you all can do? An exit plan if you so choose someday? Do you have family and friends or support near by?

Either way thanks for letting me stop in on your thread give you  Empathy love and support.  Give yourself some self love, self compassion while you are giving all to others. Don't ignore the voice inside, it loves you and is warning you, wanting you to be safe. However that is. Facing it, no denial, moving forward, counseling, he being responsible or if you have to leave there is places you are loved and you didn't fail. I have helped others cross the bridge. Let me know if you need resources.

LR

[livednlearned]

I fear my life is in danger no one believes me

We believe you.

and I'm starting to give up.

You are here posting, reaching out to people who understand.

Tell us more what's going on. The support here can turn your life around.

It did for me, and my situation was scary too.

We will walk with you through this, you're not alone.