agressive texting and No Contact

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hello,

I ended up a relationship with a BPD girl about 3 days ago, breaking up in person on the fisrt time was pretty traumatic (she hold my arms really strong so i would not leave the vehicle) and after that followed me to my car took my keys and threatened to scream if i try to get it back, bottom line she would not let me leave for any reason. On that same day her brother told me she had a BPD diagnosis. For some dumb reason on monday I agreed to meet her in person again so she could apologize, it ended up with me needing help from two police officers to leave the parking lot cause she entered my car as soon as I unlocked it to leave and would refuse to move out,threatining me saying if i laid a finger on her trying to take her out she would accuse me of beating her up.
After this I found this site and decided to cut contact, but the day after I woke up with a SMS from strange number saying she was pregnant, last contact I made with her was to find out if that was truth or not, she said it wasn´t and that it was prank from her roommate. Now I achived the first 24hours without contacting her back, although she send me gifts through dellivery service and i constantly see her car next to my house and work, I keep blocking text messages and numbers that call me but texts from new numbers still come through, and are becoming more agressive, and also pressing me to pay for a few things.
My question is, should i contact her back to see what i owe, pay it and move one or just keep ignoring? (If i owe her any money is probably 30-40 usd for some grocery or dinner she paid for me, nothing substantia)
Sorry for any english problems, english is not my first language.

[Jewguy]

Hello,

I ended up a relationship with a BPD girl about 3 days ago, breaking up in person on the fisrt time was pretty traumatic (she hold my arms really strong so i would not leave the vehicle) and after that followed me to my car took my keys and threatened to scream if i try to get it back, bottom line she would not let me leave for any reason. On that same day her brother told me she had a BPD diagnosis. For some dumb reason on monday I agreed to meet her in person again so she could apologize, it ended up with me needing help from two police officers to leave the parking lot cause she entered my car as soon as I unlocked it to leave and would refuse to move out,threatining me saying if i laid a finger on her trying to take her out she would accuse me of beating her up.
After this I found this site and decided to cut contact, but the day after I woke up with a SMS from strange number saying she was pregnant, last contact I made with her was to find out if that was truth or not, she said it wasn´t and that it was prank from her roommate. Now I achived the first 24hours without contacting her back, although she send me gifts through dellivery service and i constantly see her car next to my house and work, I keep blocking text messages and numbers that call me but texts from new numbers still come through, and are becoming more agressive, and also pressing me to pay for a few things.
My question is, should i contact her back to see what i owe, pay it and move one or just keep ignoring? (If i owe her any money is probably 30-40 usd for some grocery or dinner she paid for me, nothing substantia)
Sorry for any english problems, english is not my first language.

[joeramabeme]

Hi JewGuy

Welcome to this site.  Glad you posted your question and story.  Not sure how much you know about BPD but one of the primary symptoms is intense fear of abandonment, which she sounds like she is extremely exhibiting.

While no one here can tell you that you should definitively do or not do something, I would suggest that if you feel you owe her money to drop a check in the mail so as to remove your sense of obligation.  Not sure what your personal feelings are about this situation but many of us here act from an inflated sense of guilt and overdeveloped responsibility.  If that sounds or feels familiar, than it might be helpful to remove all potential "hooks" that could lead you into somehow feeling responsible or guilty.

Are you emotionally conflicted in any way about what has happened?

JRB

[Jewguy]

Thanks JRB,

I guess i'll do that even If I dont know the exact amount. And now she is accusing me of sending nudes of her to other people. Which I never did. Im in Panic because this could really  harm my career. Not sure If I should confront her on the nudes topic and other sérios accusations or keep ignoring. I am 100% sure Im through with her, but its hard not to talk back on the things she is accusing me of doing.

[joeramabeme]

Not sure If I should confront her on the nudes topic and other sérios accusations or keep ignoring.

Like the last reply, no one can say for sure what you should do; but if it were me, I would not confront her about anything.  My reasoning is that pwBPD equate feelings as facts.  Whatever she is accusing you of will be based on her feelings that have morphed into a story (that is real for her).  Your confronting her on what she is literally saying (nude pictures) will likely cause her to be defensive as she will feel invalidated (you are not listening to my feelings [I am hurting and need attention]). 

When in doubt practice No Contact.

Also, if for whatever reason you choose to contact her and start communicating again; be sure to read the articles in the Lessons section of this site on how to Communicate with someone that has BPD.

Keep us posted.

JRB

[Confused99]

Do you have any children with her?   Does she have children?  What kind of pictures?  It they are not important to NC

[Jewguy]

After reading a lot of content from this page and talking with a friend from my law firm, who worked for a client that was stalked by BPD Ex, I decided to keep up the NC. He also adviced me to avoid going out besides to work and very needed places for a couple of weeks, so I avoid "meeting her". He also told me to dont delete my call history and text messages cause they might be useful in the future. I guess I´ll try my best to do this and see if she will stop this within a few weeks. I just hope she move on to somebody else soon. And again thanks for the support! Talking about it here really helps my anxiety.

[Jewguy]

Do you have any children with her?   Does she have children?  What kind of pictures?  It they are not important to NC

Thankfully we don´t have any children,  and thanks to G-d she also does not have any of her own. The pictures would be naked pictures of her, and she accuses me of intentionally sending to people naked pictures of her as payback, which I didn´t do. She also accused me so far of ignoring her on purpose, to the point she cutted herself (which lately I found was a lie, and that she had sent me old pictures of her cutted wrists). Also accused me in front of two police officers of stealing her phone and beating her up, the police officers could tell she was out of her mind and lying cause her phone was in her purse, thaknkfully nothing happened and she gave up pressing charges after seeing the officers were not on her side. But still I find the need of reading her text messages to see what is the next accusation, and eventually anticipate something nasty coming on like serious charges. Even though I´m a lawyer, and I know it would be hard for any of her accusations to stand in court, as an immigrant I´m afraid of loosing my job because of that mess, and therefore my visa.