Hi pjstock42
I'm now 2 months past the discard and have kept up over 50 days of successful NC & I'm starting to have glimpses of hope and positivity again.
Wonderful. Well done pjstock42. I'm not sure about you're whole background but well done on successfully going about what you set out to do. 50 days can't have been easy. I'm glad to hear that you can see positivity in your days.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
For quite a while, I would have a complete emotional breakdown multiple times throughout every day. I've always been a very emotionally stable person so this was not easy for me to deal with. I spent a lot of mental energy trying to artificially propel my emotions into a more positive state but this never worked. Eventually, I took the advice of others on this board and began to let my emotions flow through me regardless of how sick I was of being distraught.
I'd consider that this takes a special amount of maturity to confront this. I want to hold it out for this reason. Well done on trying various different ways to overcome this difficult time. Well done on performing acceptance here. It's not easy to do, especially when we identify ourselves as very emotionally stable. Perhaps it might be helpful to note that a BPD relationship is a very unusual thing, so it naturally follows that unusual amounts of stress and an absence of emotional stability will follow. Good job on getting through it.
Whether it was needing to go sit in my car while at work to avoid having some kind of breakdown in my office or just needing to get into my bed and cry for a while, I just let these things happen.
I know what this feels like.
The thing is, simply by taking action through finding this community and sharing your experiences with other like-minded people, you are all already on the path to recovery without even knowing it.
I agree.
All of us will make it through this and get back to being the person who we really are.
Sometimes, we are able to make use of the things that are left behind to live as even better versions of ourselves.
This process sucks, it has led me to the deepest/darkest times in my life and it will continue to resonate with me for a long time.
Yes, sometimes it does! When we've been in the deep and dark parts of the ocean, sometimes we come to appreciate the sunlight more.