Smear campaign 3 years later - by xh's son

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I haven't posted on here for a long time because I have moved on with my life and thought all the bad stuff was over.

However, 3 years after the split and around 5 years since I had anything to do with him, my xh's adult son has recently began a smear campaign against me on social media.  I never got on with him as he caused nothing but trouble for us and seemed to be intent on destroying my relationship with his father.  To cut a long story short, he has posted bare faced lies about me, whilst making himself out to have been badly treated.

A lot of people have responded to his post.  Most are people that wouldn't know me if they fell over me.  A few are people that I know but don't have anything to do with, and they have commented, basically slagging me off and calling me mad!  Now they wouldn't know enough about me to know if this was true and one has a major grudge about me and my family anyway!  A couple of others have responded rather neutrally, practically warning him that what he is saying makes him look bad.

I am really not bothered what people think as they don't know me anyway.  I am just very interested as to why, after all this time, he is doing this.  Why would I have such an important place in his thoughts that he would need to do this?  I believe that he may also be BPD as he is very attention seeking.  He definitely resented the fact that his father was in a relationship with me but seems to have accepted the replacement, whom my xh married.

If this was being done by my ex I would have been surprised but to be done by his son after all this time, just amazes me!

Does anyone else have experience of this?

[Popcorn71]

I haven't posted on here for a long time because I have moved on with my life and thought all the bad stuff was over.

However, 3 years after the split and around 5 years since I had anything to do with him, my xh's adult son has recently began a smear campaign against me on social media.  I never got on with him as he caused nothing but trouble for us and seemed to be intent on destroying my relationship with his father.  To cut a long story short, he has posted bare faced lies about me, whilst making himself out to have been badly treated.

A lot of people have responded to his post.  Most are people that wouldn't know me if they fell over me.  A few are people that I know but don't have anything to do with, and they have commented, basically slagging me off and calling me mad!  Now they wouldn't know enough about me to know if this was true and one has a major grudge about me and my family anyway!  A couple of others have responded rather neutrally, practically warning him that what he is saying makes him look bad.

I am really not bothered what people think as they don't know me anyway.  I am just very interested as to why, after all this time, he is doing this.  Why would I have such an important place in his thoughts that he would need to do this?  I believe that he may also be BPD as he is very attention seeking.  He definitely resented the fact that his father was in a relationship with me but seems to have accepted the replacement, whom my xh married.

If this was being done by my ex I would have been surprised but to be done by his son after all this time, just amazes me!

Does anyone else have experience of this?

[JRT]

Where there is smoke there is fire: what are the chances that he never really got over you? Even after all of this time. Who did the breaking up?

[Popcorn71]

I would say that my ex got over me rather quickly.  He was with the replacement before he dumped me and we have had virtually no contact since.

As for his son, I knew he wasn't a fan of mine, but would not have expected him to be bothered by me to this extent!

We all mix in different social circles and have absolutely nothing to do with each other.  I cannot see what he has to gain by this.  He's unlikely to ever know that I know what he has done so what's the point?

[JRT]

I might argue that finding a replacement is not the same as getting over you. The replacement might have been a mere pacifier... .

[Popcorn71]

I understand what you are saying, but I still can't understand what this has to do with his son.  My ex is not likely to know of this smear campaign either as he cannot use social media without help.  It would seem that his son, for some reason, is bothered by me.   

[Rayban]

Smear campaign is an incidious way of getting a reaction from you. My advice is don't respond.  It will only bring you down to his level.  Ignore it and block him and his son on any social media sight.

Remember the people who responded with out even knowing you aren't people you want in your life. Be grateful for the ones that defended you, or at the very least remained neutral as these are well grounded folks.

I know it's difficult to live through especially after all this time, just continue being the best you can be.

[Popcorn71]

Thanks, I haven't responded, despite one of the 'commentators' being a family member (who I have as little to do with as possible as she has done nothing but try to cause trouble within the family for the past 30 years).  I just don't know why they can't leave me alone now.  I am able to totally ignore my ex and his family if I come across them so why can't they do the same?  I just want a peaceful, happy life, which I have been quite successful in creating during the past couple of years.  I really don't want anything upsetting this now.

You are quite right, the people who have responded to him are people that I decided to 'block' from my life as I just did not like them and their ways.  This has obviously upset them as they feel the need to comment negatively on me.  Others are commenting on a person they know nothing about, which is irrelevant to me as I don't know them either and do not want to.   The ones who commented in a reasonable way are not people I know or are likely to meet but it is good to know that some people can obviously see through what is going on.  Interestingly, all 'mutual friends' have not reacted at all!  

I just wish I didn't have to see this idiot and his supporters around, as it's not very pleasant having to bite my tongue when I come across them on at least a weekly basis due to it being a fairly small community.

[shatra]

I would say that my ex got over me rather quickly.  He was with the replacement before he dumped me and we have had virtually no contact since.

=====As JRT wrote,  one has nothing to do with the other, when it comes to BPD... .because he has a replacement and has no contact with you does not mean he got over you
====Are u sure he didn't rope the son into doing this to get attention?

[JRT]

Children young and old are sympathetic to whatever struggles that their parents go through... .I know my ex's son posted some stuff online regarding her mom's struggles after our breakup... .so it naturally follows that their children would demonstrate the same emotions regarding this person or that one... .however, there is something that prompted the son's behavior I would be convinced that it was nothing other than dad's emotions... .as it would logically follow that the son does not have strong feelings (and likely never had any to this extent), the emotions that he is expressing today di not come from within him. Who then?

Your ex doesn't seem to be over you if this is what is going on.

[Popcorn71]

Children young and old are sympathetic to whatever struggles that their parents go through... .I know my ex's son posted some stuff online regarding her mom's struggles after our breakup... .so it naturally follows that their children would demonstrate the same emotions regarding this person or that one... .however, there is something that prompted the son's behavior I would be convinced that it was nothing other than dad's emotions... .as it would logically follow that the son does not have strong feelings (and likely never had any to this extent), the emotions that he is expressing today di not come from within him. Who then?

Your ex doesn't seem to be over you if this is what is going on.

This makes sense.  For a few days beforehand, my ex and his son spent a lot of time together.  I know this because of where they were and it also meant that they both saw me numerous times.  One of these times, I actually thought my ex was going to wave to me despite me not acknowledging him in any way!   Maybe this triggered my ex somehow or something in his behaviour may have been picked up on by his son.  Maybe this was the reason for his son's actions.