Hey TAB-
I guess I'm wondering if it's normal after time with a person suffering from BPD you begin to be similar.
Yes it is and yes it's also common to wonder if you have the disorder. They're called "fleas", borderline traits we pick up as a result of being in a relationship with a borderline, but as you detach and get back to yourself, they will lessen. Also, the traits of the disorder are on a continuum and we all exhibit some of the traits some of the time to some degree, plus, most of our exes are subclinical, meaning they wouldn't meet the criteria for a formal diagnosis, which doesn't matter really, it's the behaviors and how they affected us that matter.
And isn't that true in all relationships? We all take on some of the traits of our partners, at least a little? Interesting too that your ex said he may have BPD; that's rare self awareness among borderlines, where did he get the idea that he might be? And that's a hint for you too; the average borderline wouldn't even ask the question; thinking you may have a mental illness could trigger more shame, unless maybe it's a way to get narcissistic supply from mental health professionals, might work for fictitious ailments, but what if it's real? Then what?
