Do our ex NPD/BPD partners reward flying monkeys?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My xw's BF has turned into quiet the FM. I predicted this. She has gradually shaped her BF, this weekend access was bad. Xw and BF were texting s10 to go with them. Xw is putting her BF in a position of father to my son. I know her, I said before, she hates Frenchman so right off the bat, it's a strange Union, she rewards greatly with she sex. It is so unnatural to try and push the father out and replace him. I can see the conflict in s10's face. He will take the path of least resistance. I know xw's manuplateing skills, she is making her BF feel special, that he is saving her and s10. At least I was always treated like a dog, my discard was painful enough but Xw has BF on a pedestal. If he ever opens his eyes or tells her to do her own dirty work he's due for a brutal awakening. She had him running like a fool to her side whenever I check her on the court order. He really thinks he's protecting her.

[bus boy]

My xw's BF has turned into quiet the FM. I predicted this. She has gradually shaped her BF, this weekend access was bad. Xw and BF were texting s10 to go with them. Xw is putting her BF in a position of father to my son. I know her, I said before, she hates Frenchman so right off the bat, it's a strange Union, she rewards greatly with she sex. It is so unnatural to try and push the father out and replace him. I can see the conflict in s10's face. He will take the path of least resistance. I know xw's manuplateing skills, she is making her BF feel special, that he is saving her and s10. At least I was always treated like a dog, my discard was painful enough but Xw has BF on a pedestal. If he ever opens his eyes or tells her to do her own dirty work he's due for a brutal awakening. She had him running like a fool to her side whenever I check her on the court order. He really thinks he's protecting her.

[Rayban]

I would say that she is grooming him and manipulating his perceptions. I'm sure he's learning what pleases her and gets rewarded in return.  He's in the fog, unable to understand that this could be happening to him in the future.

Sometimes flying monkeys are disordered themselves and just enjoy inflicting pain to others. The best advice I could give is always do right by your son. If you feel they are using him as a pawn to get to you, seek legal advice. Stay strong my friend. Be a compassionate father. Hold your head up high and always take the high road.

[JerryRG]

I agree with Rayban

We cannot control what others do and say, we can control our responce to their choices. Character, dignity and honesty may not register as important to your ex to model to your son. Eventually your son will see you and them in the true light. That day he will learn what it is to be a man, not a monkey.

I know how difficult this is, my exgf plays the same games with me, I've learned (for the 10,000 time) to accept life on life's terms, I don't have to like it or agree with it but I trust God will lead me through. Allow your ex wife's behaviour shape you into steel, determined to do what's right. Never allow twisted minds and souls leave you twisted. Be the best man, father you can be, you will reap rewards in ways you never dreamed before.

Peace will come, it must start inside you.

[bus boy]

Thank you, Rayban and JerryRG. Your words of support mean a lot to me. Maybe her BF is a bad natured person. He has some bad seeds in his family. His first cousin was a terror to the community, the police did nothing, Some people got together, shot him and he was never seen again. Her BF lives in her house, he's divorced, she use sex as a manuplation tool, xw knows how to manuplate a situation, expert of control. Hef BF is living comfortable Xw will hang that over his head.