Very, very worried

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

About two months ago my exBPDgf went to the UK and met a guy she was talking to online. I looked at her Facebook account and she was planning to have sex with him and 8 of his friends.

Because I am a total looser I tried to make it work with her when she returned and we had unprotected sex a number of times. I submitted a blood sample two days ago and urine sample yesterday and received a call from the doctor today that I have to make an appointment. I am scared beyond belief that she has given an std, specifically HIV. I've been suffering lethargy and flu like symptoms for a couple of weeks now.

Today marks 4 weeks exactly with NC and to top it all off, if she has given me something, I am legally required to contact her to inform her.

I am petrified of what my diagnosis is going to be and also of the thought of having to make contact with her. It also brings me great pain to imagine what she did not only while she was away but probably at other times during our relationship. The images of her with other men play constantly in my mind.

I'm totally screwed, I have to go and take Xanax now as I am freaking out.

[snowmonkey]

About two months ago my exBPDgf went to the UK and met a guy she was talking to online. I looked at her Facebook account and she was planning to have sex with him and 8 of his friends.

Because I am a total looser I tried to make it work with her when she returned and we had unprotected sex a number of times. I submitted a blood sample two days ago and urine sample yesterday and received a call from the doctor today that I have to make an appointment. I am scared beyond belief that she has given an std, specifically HIV. I've been suffering lethargy and flu like symptoms for a couple of weeks now.

Today marks 4 weeks exactly with NC and to top it all off, if she has given me something, I am legally required to contact her to inform her.

I am petrified of what my diagnosis is going to be and also of the thought of having to make contact with her. It also brings me great pain to imagine what she did not only while she was away but probably at other times during our relationship. The images of her with other men play constantly in my mind.

I'm totally screwed, I have to go and take Xanax now as I am freaking out.

[sad but wiser]

Hello.  Wow!  There are other possible reasons for your symptoms, such as stress... .try not to worry, your doctor my have to meet with you in person regardless of the test results.  You just don't know.  Hope for the best.  You were brave to get checked out.

[hope2727]

Good for you that you got tested. It is very mature and responsible of you. The waiting is the brutal part. All you can do is put in the time until your appointment. Pleas try not to worry (even though I know that impossible). Your symptoms could be from anything ranging from anemia to stress to a virus. Your doctor may even want to read you the riot act about unprotected sex ... .who knows. Until the apt there is literally nothing you can do but wait. I know how hard it is I've been there. Write again hen you  have news. Remember no matter what the out come we are here for you. You are not the first person to face this and you won't be the last. We will be here no matter what. Meanwhile hugs.

[Larmoyant]

snowmonkey, the waiting must be very difficult. Hang in there. Let us know how you go. Will be thinking of you