Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
September 28, 2024, 09:23:08 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Experts share their discoveries
[video]
99
Could it be BPD
BPDFamily.com Production
Listening to shame
Brené Brown, PhD
What is BPD?
Blasé Aguirre, MD
What BPD recovery looks like
Documentary
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
The replacements ex...what are the odds?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: The replacements ex...what are the odds? (Read 405 times)
duncsvoice
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 54
The replacements ex...what are the odds?
«
on:
October 15, 2016, 05:02:41 AM »
Hey gang (not sure if this should be in dating)
I had my mind completely and utterly blown last night, and I just had to get it out. About 9/10 months post break up, and I'm feeling really good, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Occasionally I've have some thoughts that set me back, but I've worked hard to rebuild my life and I'm starting to feel the benefits. All good. I've been very casually dating and a few weeks ago I matched with a girl on Tinder, who turns out just lives 2 minutes down the road and we share so many common interests. At the very least, I've made a potential good friend. We'd been texting each other things we think the other might like, and she had a car crash yesterday and text me straight away - and I felt worried! (she's all fine).
So last night she came with a friend down to a bar I was playing pool at and we were having a chat, before she mentioned a couple of things about her ex that sounded really familiar. The name, the age, the occupation... .all sounded eerily similar to my replacement. I took a leap, "I know this might sound really weird but... .I think your ex might be with mine!". And it all fell in to place, our exes were with each other and we were both sat there in a state of stunned silence.
We spoke about our experiences (her ex has narcissistic personality disorder) and she told me how she has a lot of mutual friends and their relationship sounds just as toxic and manic as ours was. But we just got to a point that we just didn't want to talk about our exes even more. All of a sudden we'd gone from casual acquaintances and out of the mess of our previous relationships this really great bond just appeared out of nowhere, and I honestly felt this overwhelming sense of calmness just wash over me. It felt wonderful.
So, we just went out and had such a brilliant night out together that ended at 6am with a pretty passionate kiss. Now I'm not a religious man, but I believe that something pushed us towards meeting and to have already had this connection even before we knew about our exes. Life just has this peculiar way of sorting itself out I guess.
Logged
C.Stein
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2360
Re: The replacements ex...what are the odds?
«
Reply #1 on:
October 15, 2016, 06:41:07 AM »
So was this the final piece of the puzzle that allows you to achieve complete indifference with respect to your ex? Do you feel now your detaching is complete or are there still issues you are dealing with?
Logged
WendyDavid
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 50
Re: The replacements ex...what are the odds?
«
Reply #2 on:
October 15, 2016, 12:11:54 PM »
This would make either a great romantic movie or horror film. I hope for the former. Watch out that the two of you don't spend too much time talking about your exes!
Logged
SoMadSoSad
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 375
Re: The replacements ex...what are the odds?
«
Reply #3 on:
October 15, 2016, 02:59:39 PM »
Congratulations. SOunds like you have a wonderful life ahead of you. I am happy you made it out of this mess. I hope to some day be as lucky as you. Cheers.
Logged
duncsvoice
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 54
Re: The replacements ex...what are the odds?
«
Reply #4 on:
October 15, 2016, 05:00:34 PM »
Thanks for the replies all.
@C.Stein I think I was on the cusp anyway, but after last night I'm finally there. It was incredibly speaking with my fellow 'survivor', and hearing that our exes are back in that maelstrom did finally put it to bed. I feel at peace at last. I'm still changed and it will take me a while to want to be with anyone, but that bitterness has gone.
@WendyDavid Haha, me too! We quite quickly decided we didn't want to waste any more time on our exes. The initial revelation was really cathartic, but I'm not interested in my ex, she isn't interested in hers (although she has to go through the divorce). It was a couple of hours getting it all out, then the rest of the night enjoying each other's company!
@SoMadSoSad Thank you. I don't know if I've got a wonderful life planned just yet, but I'm working on it! I feel like it was important that we met. This board truly is wonderful with the support every one gives, and even though I guess I'm now ready to embark on my next stage of the journey, my BPD ex will have changed me intrinsically so I'll be coming back for years.
Logged
Curiously1
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 390
Re: The replacements ex...what are the odds?
«
Reply #5 on:
October 15, 2016, 05:11:24 PM »
This is a really surprising story! The world is such a small place
Nice to hear that you two are getting along and things have been lovely.
You will have plenty to talk about! Just not too much on your exes ok?
Good luck!
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
The replacements ex...what are the odds?
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...