I saw my ex this weekend

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

She and I are members of a meditation group.  I used to attend regularly and have been just a few times in the last year.  I went Sunday realizing I may see her walk through the hall.

Arrived early, went to the bathroom and when I walked out the door she was standing right in front of me smiling.  I looked right at her as if she were a good friend and smiled and said Good Morning ex.  She said good morning and then suddenly took a whole step back when she knew who it was.

At the break, I saw her one more time for just a moment and again smiled and nodded to her.  She had a mixed look of anger and sadness and deep hurt.

I am really amazed at myself.  It has been over 24 hours and I am not freaking out, having any reactions or really anything.  I told my T and she went right to the point, did you go there to see her?  Though I did not consciously do this - after hearing the question I had to concede that there was probably a degree of this thinking in my actions. 

So, I don't know if this means I am all better and good to go now but I do know that I feel far better than 4 months ago when I unexpectedly saw her in the grocery store and had a fight or flight moment so snuck away without making a purchase.

[joeramabeme]

She and I are members of a meditation group.  I used to attend regularly and have been just a few times in the last year.  I went Sunday realizing I may see her walk through the hall.

Arrived early, went to the bathroom and when I walked out the door she was standing right in front of me smiling.  I looked right at her as if she were a good friend and smiled and said Good Morning ex.  She said good morning and then suddenly took a whole step back when she knew who it was.

At the break, I saw her one more time for just a moment and again smiled and nodded to her.  She had a mixed look of anger and sadness and deep hurt.

I am really amazed at myself.  It has been over 24 hours and I am not freaking out, having any reactions or really anything.  I told my T and she went right to the point, did you go there to see her?  Though I did not consciously do this - after hearing the question I had to concede that there was probably a degree of this thinking in my actions. 

So, I don't know if this means I am all better and good to go now but I do know that I feel far better than 4 months ago when I unexpectedly saw her in the grocery store and had a fight or flight moment so snuck away without making a purchase.

[Sadly]

I would say well done Joe, regardless of it was intended or not it happened and you did so well, 24 hours later, no Wobblies, it's looking good.   x

[heartandwhole]

Yes! That sounds like progress to me, JRB. Good going. 

heartandwhole

[Mutt]

Hi Joe,

I started with a new T and was providing some relationship history and the T said; "sounds like she doesn't have what you need".

I told my T and she went right to the point, did you go there to see her?  Though I did not consciously do this - after hearing the question I had to concede that there was probably a degree of this thinking in my actions.

What's your impression about your new T? Do you like her, don't like her, too early to tell?

[joeramabeme]

What's your impression about your new T? Do you like her, don't like her, too early to tell?

Second session, I like her.  Perhaps a bit too early to say too much but she seems to understand the dynamics and has insightful responses that get right to the point. 

I told her that I wasn't sure how my ex felt about seeing me; her response, is that important to you? 

A little bit of an ouch and a LOL!  I could have responded and said; why yes it is, if I am to remain codependent!

Thanks all