Still Trying to Move on From a Failed BPD Relationship

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I've been NC with her since we split in June.  It was a very brief (4 months) entanglement with this woman, but it ended suddenly and has left me feeling very lonely and bad.  I've dated other women and despite the fact that I seem to be attracting a higher caliber of person I'm still longing for the lost love I had with my ex who deals with BiPolar, Anxiety, and Depression disorders.  At times she would not take her meds and this made her unbearable.  I am seeing a counselor and she has given me plenty to read about Narcissists and Co-Dependency and while it helpf me better understand what happened it doesn't allow me to move past it very easily.  I'm moving on with my life, but my heart feels so bruised and damaged.   

[SheAskedForaBreak]

I've been NC with her since we split in June.  It was a very brief (4 months) entanglement with this woman, but it ended suddenly and has left me feeling very lonely and bad.  I've dated other women and despite the fact that I seem to be attracting a higher caliber of person I'm still longing for the lost love I had with my ex who deals with BiPolar, Anxiety, and Depression disorders.  At times she would not take her meds and this made her unbearable.  I am seeing a counselor and she has given me plenty to read about Narcissists and Co-Dependency and while it helpf me better understand what happened it doesn't allow me to move past it very easily.  I'm moving on with my life, but my heart feels so bruised and damaged.   

[Kelli Cornett]

Great that you have sought out counseling... I too am going to begin as well.  I was also in a 4 month relationship with someone with BPD and it was a whirlwind.

There isn't anything your feeling that I or others on this forum can't relate too. 

The very nature of these types of relationships have an element of a "high" to them and can be addictive in their nature - its sad, but its true...

A healthy relationship will seem dull by comparison, but what it offers is trust, respect, and a true opportunity for something long lasting because its basis is in a healthy place.

For that to happen - it takes two... .Just like in a non and BPD relationship it also takes two.  It's easy to focus on the more "affected" person (the BPD, npd etc) because their behaviors are so erratic and trust me you'll get plenty of people to agree with you on that... .

The real work and the healing and FREEDOM comes when you look into yourself and acknowledge what was missing that this person provided or distracted you from... .It's hard... .I think as hard for us NONs and is it for them and we can be (as least myself) equally loathe to pursue our healing as they are... .

Keep up with therapy... .consider not dating perhaps for awhile so that the "comparisons" don't trigger you...

It will be an amazing journey and will reap the rewards of peace.

Love to you...