BPF Ex BF New Relationship

[tammym1972]

I'm wondering if anybody else can relate. My ex Bf of 4 years just broke up with me and literally within an hour moved on to a new relationship. Not dating, a serious relationship. He just met the girl at work less than a week ago. Now he stays the night with her all the time, met her parents and kid.

By looking on facebook I found that she has PTSd and also BPD. That is what drew them together I guess. His ex fiance was also borderline and he said it was amazing. Not long ago she was practically the devil to him. Stealing, lying, breaking up constantly etc.

He says this new girl just gets him and I never did, in spite of living with him for 3 1/2 years. He says we have no connection. That sure isn't what he was saying in the first few years so its all been a shock. I still live her and plan on til the first of the year.

I always want to be friends and his kids are like my own and I always want to be in their lives.

[tammym1972]

Sorry, I know that post is rambling. Just so hurt and angry.

[gotbushels]

Hi tammym1972 

Yes I can relate. pwBPDs sometimes move from relationship to relationship as one moves across stepping stones on a pond.

My ex "found" another partner very quickly. I know they were soliciting each other toward the end of my relationship with her, so that explains some things in my case. Many people here had cheating by the pwBPD around the end of their relationships, mine was the same in this way.

He says this new girl just gets him and I never did, in spite of living with him for 3 1/2 years. He says we have no connection. That sure isn't what he was saying in the first few years so its all been a shock.

I think this is quite common. My ex said this to me toward the end of our relationship. She also said we had "no connection" toward the end of the relationship. I too, felt shocked.

One way you can look at this statement is in a hopeful way. I made some decisions to get separate and distinct from my pwBPDex. You can use this statement as an affirmative point that you don't carry the same problems as your ex.   

[tammym1972]

Hi tammym1972 

Yes I can relate. pwBPDs sometimes move from relationship to relationship as one moves across stepping stones on a pond.

My ex "found" another partner very quickly. I know they were soliciting each other toward the end of my relationship with her, so that explains some things in my case. Many people here had cheating by the pwBPD around the end of their relationships, mine was the same in this way.

He says this new girl just gets him and I never did, in spite of living with him for 3 1/2 years. He says we have no connection. That sure isn't what he was saying in the first few years so its all been a shock.

I think this is quite common. My ex said this to me toward the end of our relationship. She also said we had "no connection" toward the end of the relationship. I too, felt shocked.

One way you can look at this statement is in a hopeful way. I made some decisions to get separate and distinct from my pwBPDex. You can use this statement as an affirmative point that you don't carry the same problems as your ex.   

Thank you for the kind words. It is good to know it's not just me.