Feeling Hurt

[I. Believe]

I have finally figured out that my spouse has BPD. I have read Stop Walking on Eggshells, and am cognizant of his triggers, and also working on myself not to get triggered. My need is to get support around feeling hurt in the relationship since my BPD partner is unable to provide a caring, loving, supportive relationship. I am able to keep the conflict down and minimize his outbursts, yet I still feel lonely and hurt.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Foolishwizdom]

Have you spoken with friends or family about how you are feeling?  Can they or another support network provide the kind of support you need?  I realize that can be hard to answer in terms of just "general support", so maybe if you can identify specific types of support you know you are lacking (physical touch, listening, fun activities) then it is easier to think of those who could offer it or ways to meet those needs.

If it is the intimacy of a partner, that is a hard thing to replace appropriately. There are things I still look to my dBPDh for because he is my husband and while he can sometimes provide them, it is disappointing and devastating when he can't.

I have gone to a therapist weekly to help figure some of those questions out.