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Author Topic: Trial separation  (Read 460 times)
Charlie5
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1


« on: November 15, 2016, 06:48:52 AM »

My wife was institutionalized for 6th months after multiple suicide attempts. It's been a year now and she's now doing well. In fact she's a completely different, amazingly strong person thanks to her meds and DBT. I, on the other hand am really struggling to recover from the experience.

We have been together for 12 years now, married with 2 kids and she'd just graduated uni. We all relocated so she could have her dream job... .all the elements where there for what I thought was going to be theost wonderful life, until and it all fell apart.

Since our 1st date I have tried to lift her up and show her how amzing she really is. After it all fell apart I had to come to terms woth the fact that dispite my best efforts, I couldn't fix her and I think a very distinctive switch was turnes off in my head, leaving me emotionally bankrupt towards her and to a lesser extent, life in general.

I've talked to a GP and clinical psychologist who doesn't get what my problem is. I've asked to be included in her treatment discussions or for someone to fill me in on what is happening but I got nothing.

With her new found strength and independence she kicked me out of the house on Monday, calling for a 'trial separation' because she's over me.

I'm sleeping at my parents house for the 1st time in 12 years, feeling as though I have nothing more to give but so much more to lose. I miss my kids and the woman that I use to love... .

I would love to know what support is available, particularly in Australia is anyone knows?

... .and would appreciate your prayers if you are so inclined, for my wife, our children and myself.

Thank you!

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Meili
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2384


« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2016, 01:37:42 PM »

Welcome.

I'm sorry that you had to find these boards; but, at the same time, glad you did because the support provided here can be invaluable.

For the non in a BPD relationship, it can be extremely emotionally draining. The non's sense of self can get completely destroyed. It can be very hard to recover from that. The good news is that you can recover!

I think that we all realize that the therapeutic/trial separation is hard, but there is some good that come of that as well. You can use that time to regain your self and work on making yourself emotionally stronger.

You said that you've talked to a clinical psychologist who doesn't get what your problem is. Can you expand on that?

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