Words do not begin to describe the joy...

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

A letter to my ex. She just wrote me a smug letter about her amazing honeymoon, amongst other nasty utterances

So I've written one to her... .to you... .so I don't need to send it  

Words do not begin to describe the joy inside me that you have found another source of supply. May he rest long in the knowledge that your fraud, lies, emotional abuse, physical abuse and general nonsense are now his and his alone.

I do not miss you birthdays when I could do nothing right, the ridiculous arguments about budgeting and about how you want more money. You theft of our savings is also not something I will generally miss either.

Your medical condtions that suddenly appear and disappear
Lack of affection and intimacy
Shouting
Screaming
Poking me in the eyes
Slamming doors
Visits to psychologists and psychiatrists
Psychosis
Attempts at suicide.

All his... .Wont he be surprised. I know I was

Farewell! I wish you all that you deserve

I do miss the good times, but I am overjoyed to trade them in for my freedom

[Moselle]

A letter to my ex. She just wrote me a smug letter about her amazing honeymoon, amongst other nasty utterances

So I've written one to her... .to you... .so I don't need to send it  

Words do not begin to describe the joy inside me that you have found another source of supply. May he rest long in the knowledge that your fraud, lies, emotional abuse, physical abuse and general nonsense are now his and his alone.

I do not miss you birthdays when I could do nothing right, the ridiculous arguments about budgeting and about how you want more money. You theft of our savings is also not something I will generally miss either.

Your medical condtions that suddenly appear and disappear
Lack of affection and intimacy
Shouting
Screaming
Poking me in the eyes
Slamming doors
Visits to psychologists and psychiatrists
Psychosis
Attempts at suicide.

All his... .Wont he be surprised. I know I was

Farewell! I wish you all that you deserve

I do miss the good times, but I am overjoyed to trade them in for my freedom

[JerryRG]

Hang in there Moselle

PwBPD live in thier own reality, we are the ones who live in the real world, along with the pain, the struggles, the insight, self awareness, guilt, shame, love, heart ache, sacrifice, fairness, and because of all these truths, we can access our lives and change to make ourselves better people. PwBPD, not so much.

They have a dream
We have the world

[Pretty Woman]

 

I love your addition of "I'll miss the good times"

I think we all feel that way but when you read all the crap she pulled... .holy cow, Moselle... .
good riddance!

Thank you for sharing that! My condolences to her current victim.

Have a great day!
PW
 

[CooperD]

Hi Moselle,

Sorry you had to read her letter gloating like that  but I really like your response.

I would love to email my BPD and give her the list of all things she did to me.  i would love to let her listen to the audio recordings of her threatening to accuse me of rape. I would love her to know the torment she has put me through and the devestation she has caused to my life and the pain she has caused my parents/friends seeing my mental deterioration.

Right now her last correspondence was to threaten me for harrasment/stalking if I so dare as to even reply to her email (again her way of running away) so cant send my list yet.

I'm sure in several weeks I will receive an email from her confirming our divorce and copies of the papers and at that point I will tell her I loved our happy moments/memories and im so sorry your illness destroyed our relationship.

Not been a good day my side - its almost two weeks now since she dropped the papers on me.  Its so weird having had daily contact with someone for 5 years for them then to completely disappear from your life like you no longer exist.







 

[Moselle]

Thanks for the support guys. I really am grateful to finally get rid of her. The scars are there and some are still healing.

I'm with my girls this weekend and I'm not sure why but I'm suffering with some deep pain.

Trying to deal with my FOO, my kids and the ex is taking its toll emotionally. I'm taking some time out to identify what I'm feeling. I think it's shame . This is such a  rough journey, I'm relying a bit on faith now.

Time to get things straight in my own head.

[Harri]

Hi there Moselle.

Shame is such a big thing to try to come to terms with but it sounds like you are doing the only thing you can which is to feel it without pushing it away and then trying to come to an understanding in your head (at least that is the way I think it works).

It hurts though. 

Here's to acknowledgement, acceptance and understanding.

[Wize]

Great letter, Mo.  Haha, it's all his now.  He thinks he hit the jackpot as I'm sure she's idealizing him with everything she's got.  But you, and we know better.  He's in for a very miserable time as he tries to fix, console and manage her many issues.  And the issues will mount and mount and nothing will get fixed and she'll drain the life out of him. 

Then he and his friends and family will stand in utter confusion wondering what the heck is happening.  What happened?  BPD happened.  Run for your lives. 

[Moselle]

Thanks Harri,

It's a hard one. Dealing with FOO shame and with Marriage shame and the children have become an extension of the X's invalidation and shame.

The whole family !

The burden of knowledge is huge. I know so much yet I cannot influence here. It feels like a tsunami of dysfunction. How do I stay focused and strong when there is just so much disorder?

[Moselle]

Great letter, Mo.  Haha, it's all his now.  He thinks he hit the jackpot as I'm sure she's idealizing him with everything she's got.  But you, and we know better.  He's in for a very miserable time as he tries to fix, console and manage her many issues.  And the issues will mount and mount and nothing will get fixed and she'll drain the life out of him. 

Then he and his friends and family will stand in utter confusion wondering what the heck is happening.  What happened?  BPD happened.  Run for your lives. 

Yup. He used to be my friend. He divorced his pregnant wife and three other kids for this facade. Yes he will one day know what he traded.

I have very little respect for him.

Bizarrely a few months ago he confided in another friend that if my ex is not what she appears to be, he will leave her. Which is a bizarre thing to say. It's as if his intuition knows what is happening to him, but he is in denial. Well it's actually bizarre watching an ex friend go through the same thing I did 15 years ago.

It's like a cat playing with a mouse.

[Fr4nz]

The burden of knowledge is huge. I know so much yet I cannot influence here. It feels like a tsunami of dysfunction. How do I stay focused and strong when there is just so much disorder?

Yeah, on the one hand it's a burden because we know it's useless to have logical conversations with them, and thus make them recognize our huge pain; on the other hand, knowledge allows us to achieve true closure by ourselves and truly move on (even if this usually require possibly quite some time).

All in all, I think that knowledge represebts an extremely positive thing for our emotional and psychological well-being